Shr Jya Ting

Sleep-overs

2012-01-24T12:48:00.000-08:00

I am so done with them.

One friend I had to take home at about 3 am because she was scared. Six months later she tried again and I had to stay up with her half the night because she was scared at our house but also scared of getting in trouble if she went home in the middle of the night.

Another friend has slept over about four times over the last year and has wet the bed EVERY time. I resorted to making her sleep on a shower curtain but she still manages to get just enough urine on every blanket and pillow that I have to wash everything. We finally said no more, but she keeps begging Lily and forces Lily to keep begging us.

Then, the best of all. The boys had a friend over. And he had diarrhea. In the bed. In the middle of the night. And he didn't tell us. Neither did the boys, until the next evening when Eliseo mentioned that he'd woken up and his knee was all wet and he thought he'd had an accident but, whew, it wasn't him, it was just that Friend had gotten diarrhea on his knee. This fact was somehow, inexplicably, such a relief to Eliseo that he suddenly remembered to mention it so long after the event. Then I, myself, had to go search and sniff out all the soiled places and bedding and do about 1000 loads of laundry.

And I was so hoping that 2011 would be the year when, at the end, looking back on it, I wouldn't have anything embarrassing or disgusting to remember.

Rune

2012-01-19T18:41:00.000-08:00

constantly startles and amuses me with quirky quips.

I've mentioned this before in a post about how he reduced me to hilarity for days over an Earnest P. Whorl comment while I was lecturing Eliseo.

Also memorable was his monologue on the unbearable unendingness of kissing in the movie Jane Eyre.

And recently...

I'd made dill pickle soup for dinner, a new recipe, and the kids seemed to enjoy it. Rune commented on the way out the door to scouts that he wanted me to leave the soup out so he could eat more when he returned home. While he was gone I decided that there was just enough soup left to scrape a second dinner from and so callously put the soup away rationalizing that he would probably eat some sort of unhealthy junk at scouts (I was right-brownies) and so wouldn't miss the soup. Later, in the before bedtime rush to get a drink of milk, I asked the kids who liked the soup. Rune replied, "I did, I would've had more but you squashed that dream." I realize it can't possibly be as funny in the re-telling, but his dead pan voice without a hint of trying to be dramatic, and throwing out that piece of English language in the middle of pouring his milk as if it was a rational response to my putting soup away when he'd asked me not to....well, it had Grant and I giggling and joking about dream squashing well into the night. Which is about 10pm in our world.

It's quite possible that it is not really that funny and that Grant and I are just hopelessly mired in the mundane landscape of parents who never get out.

My kids

2012-01-17T10:40:00.000-08:00

requested to eat the testicles from the jack rabbit that Grant and Alma killed the other day. They were not forced or coerced in any way. The only thing that upset them was that one jack rabbit does not yield more than two testicles.

P.S. It's okay if you're grossed out.

Another example

2012-01-12T19:50:00.001-08:00

of the hilarious brilliance in Lily's songwriting.

So far this song is untitled.

She was born like an artist. Raised like a hound.
She always shines bright. Never hides her colors.
Glides like the wind. Floats like a feather.
And always shows her colors of her Land.
She jingles with the bells. Makes the rainbows shine.
And has the colors of the wind.
She can be an artist, she can be a hound.
But she keeps her colors bright.

What I want to know is who is this song based on? Some figment of Lily's imagination? Or is she writing about herself (she does fancy herself an artist after all)? In which case I'd really like an explanation for the raised like a hound part. Not to mention what zoomorphic trait does she imagine a hound gives to this artistic girl who jingles with the bells and makes rainbows shine?

What do you do with neighbors who

2011-12-19T16:15:00.000-08:00

refuse to take your homemade Christmas treats delivered to their door in the holiday spirit by your cute and guile-less eight year old daughter?

At least they didn't scream at her but merely sent her packing with a curt, "No thanks, we don't need any."

It's surprising how much it smarts to be disliked so vehemently.

2011-11-30T22:11:00.000-08:00

Grant and I are both really un-festive when it comes to putting up Christmas lights on the house. As in, we have never done it and have never wanted to. I really don't know what Grant's reasons are, but for myself it is the frigid weather. I'm already so cold inside the house that I have no idea why anyone in their right mind would purposely go outside the house for hours to do a project when they don't have to. Eliseo, however, is dying to have Christmas lights on the house and has been trying to convince us for days that it is a worthwhile effort. When I picked him up from Scouts tonight he tried a new plug.

Eliseo (pointing to a festive house): See! We need to do our house like that. It's just so....attractive!

I really can't convey it in writing but the way he pronounced the word attractive is still making me laugh. It was a convincing enough argument that I may let him have a go at it himself and see what he comes up with.

Ode to Winter Hatred 2011

2011-11-01T14:03:00.000-07:00

When Hell freezes over

It really will be

Hell.

2011-09-01T13:27:00.000-07:00

Summer was fun. We went to the cabin in Colorado. We went to Oregon for a month. We visited the coast, something we haven't done in 10 years. I got to see my sister Rachel, which I haven't done in two years. I got to spend a lot of time with my cool sis in law, Elyn, and it was super fun getting to know her better. I took tons of pictures and some video, but we all know how much I can't stand uploading pictures so use your imagination. (You are permitted, while you are using your imagination, to picture me looking exactly the same as I did about 15 years ago.)

My highlights:

We were blessedly away from our psychotic neighbor for most of the summer.
There was help with dinner and clean up every night.
Jogging in the perfect temperature of an Eastern Oregon early morning under the shade of trees.
Garage sale-ing with my mom and sisters.

The kids' highlights:

Not having to practice piano for six weeks.
Having to change clothes only once every three days or so.
The dessert marathon that was Grandma's house.
Cousins, cousins, cousins!

Now we are back in school. Rune at Jr. High, which he loves. I am so happy that he is having such a great time. Eliseo and Lily at homeschool. We are doing K12 this year. We'll see how it goes. Alma and Violet manage to decrease our productivity by about 50% every day which is not exactly fun, but it can be funny.

I've recently developed an intense interest in investing and acquiring assets. I've always been a scientist at heart and never thought I would have any interest in financial matters, but it's been very fun so far. I even bought the book Investing Online for Dummies. Rune was very proud of me. He said, "Hey! You bought one of those Dummies books!" Even if I never become a savvy investor I'm thoroughly enjoying learning something entirely new.

You notice I haven't mentioned Grant. That is because archaeologists disappear into the 'field' during the summer. (You must mentally say the word field in a mysterious voice.) As far as Grant is concerned I think our summerly interaction largely consisted of me nagging him about sunscreen, long sleeved shirts and wide brimmed hats. As much as I hate winter it will be nice to see Grant again (and WITHOUT a sunburn). I can't say how much he will enjoy seeing me, though, after all my nagging!

Lastly, just this Saturday I had the awesome experience of meeting Billy Blanks. Who, for those of you who don't know, is the creator of Tae Bo. Although he was unaware of it, he and I go waaaay back. For about 7 years I stayed in shape through two of his DVD's. The Basic one when pregnant and the Advanced one when not pregnant. Billy Blanks and his blue (Basic video) and red (Advanced video) singlets are permanently etched in my brain. Unfortunately, he no longer wears singlets.

Mother's Day 2011

2011-05-11T12:31:00.000-07:00

1. The kids had to be reminded that it was Mother's Day when it became obvious that they didn't remember and/or care.
2. They spent all day disobeying me.
3. I made a deal with Grant that he was excused from Mother's Day dinner duties if he would go work on the basement. He readily agreed, then went and took a 3 hour nap. Just when I was about to strangle him awake he popped out of bed and worked on the basement.
4. Over dinner I tried to give the kids a mighty guilt trip about my mistreatment. Only Rune was moved to real sorrow. Lily unapologetic-ally and glibly promised to serve me faithfully for the rest of the week. Then, after dinner, she threw a fit when I asked her to practice piano.
5. I went to bed laughing and not looking forward to the day when my house will only be full of echoes and Grant will be the only one around for me to boss.

My favorite kid's media

2011-05-10T15:29:00.000-07:00

Not in any particular order.

Pingu

He is exasperating and loveable at the same time. Just like a real kid! The lack of coherent dialogue is completely made up for by simplicty and exaggerated body language. The kids (and okay, Grant and I) have all enjoyed mimicking the babble and, often through tricks of sound and mind, have found 'coherent' words from all languages that we know. The fact that the episodes are only 5 mintues long is also a plus. If the kids are begging to watch TV but you don't particularly want them to be vegging in front of a screen, the solution is simple: "Okay you can watch two episodes of Pingu." They feel like they've scored and so do you!

www.uptoten.com

Boowa and Kwala are hands down my favorite choice for toddler computer time. It is innocent fun at its best. The site is so simple, fun and catchy that I often play along with the kids. Or at least watch them play. They have a huge selection of super simple games and songs. Boowa and Kwala have been part of our family dynamics since Rune was probably four years old and I've never gotten tired of them. An added bonus: If you have a desire to teach your kids French, the site can be toggled between English and French.

Teletubbies

Toddlers love repetition and Teletubbies gives them plenty of it. When it comes to a fun activity a small child's favorite word is "again!" and the Teletubbies are all over that philosophy. They do everything at least twice. I appreciate so much that this show moves at a baby's pace and not the parent's. An aside: Rune and Eliseo watched this show quite a bit in Taiwan and all of us learned a fair amount of Chinese from it. It is usually very difficult to learn a language from TV but since the Teletubbies talk so simply, use a lot of context, and repeat so often it is an ideal language learning tool for small kids.

Kipper

On Netflix one reviewer of this show called it the "Seinfeld" of toddler shows since the episodes are about essentially nothing. But 'nothing' is our relative adult term for very important happenings in a child's world. I've tested this out on Violet. At various and random times I would ask, "What does Kipper do?" She always gets a big smile on her face and is never without a ready answer. "He goes outside." "He finds Tiger." "He swings on the swings." In her world view Kipper does lots of things. I've also really enjoyed listening to my kids try to imitate their British accents.

Backyardigans

Alma recently discovered this show himself on Netflix. I had never seen it before. The premise is a group of kids who use their imaginations to make all sorts of adventures in their backyards. But the real beauty of the show is the music. So far I think we've experienced every genre of music except rap. If someone knows of a rap episode I'd love the find it. My favorite episode so far is the chef/ninja/great pie episode. This show has inspired my kids to try and use their imaginations more and I imagine it could really inspire a musically talented kid.

Spongebob Squarepants

Spongebob is honest, hard-working, good-humored, good-natured, non-judgemental and completely without guile. He looks on the bright side of everything and the good side of everybody. He is such a welcome departure from the rest of cartoondom that is rife with sarcasm, half-snide quips and a universal disrespect for authority based on the premise that all parent/teacher figures are dumb and/or ridiculous. I also appreciate that it avoids the good guys vs. evil nemesis story line. The closest Spongebob has to an evil nemesis is, I guess, Squidward, but he's not evil, just obstinately bad-humored. And more often than not he gravitates towards Spongebob's happy and fun antics in spite of himself.

2011-04-26T11:43:00.000-07:00

Although Easter is past I don't think it is too late to share this song that I think does a good job of conveying some of the feelings that we should feel about the Atonement.

However, I do take issue with the chorus. I think God does love us for who we can become. I understand JJ Heller's meaning, though--that He doesn't love us for who we become as compared to other people. I will never become (spiritually speaking) what some people will become, but I feel loved for my own personal potential. I hope I love my own kids that way.

Anyhoo, here's the song.

2011-04-18T14:05:00.001-07:00

Somehow Lily is the only family member prone to black eyes. This was day two. I think day four was the worst. We're almost on day 14 now and it's finally back to looking approximately like this again.

I've started giving Alma piano lessons. I thought If all those five year olds on YouTube can play Bach, then dadgummit, my four year old should be able to play Old MacDonald! I can't stand how cute he is sitting there on his own plunking out his little tunes.

My diapering days are over! I was happy about this until I realized it means that I no longer have a baby. Then I cried. It's still a manic depressive subject for me. Will all her milestones do this to me????

My mom likes to collect vintage patterns from yard sales. This is one of them. The embroidery around the hem is hand done.

This is our grown up deacon on his way to church to pass the sacrament for the first time. Sniff...I'm so proud of you, Grant. Just kidding. He looked so earnest and cute in his white shirt and high water pants. Seriously, the kid's legs grow like bamboo. He's got the legs of a sixteen year old and the torso of a twelve year old, a pre-teen form of awkwardness that is only accentuated by a tucked in shirt. Every Sunday I giggle and then hug him and wish he would just stop growing up already.

Little League !?!

2011-04-06T20:37:00.000-07:00

I've never had a child in little league before. We've had brief forays into soccer, basketball and football. But this little league stuff is serious. I guess it is the All-American sport (um..Is it? I just said that when really I know almost nothing about any sport). First off, we are only in "Pre-Season." Using my terrific grammar skills I take this to mean that the real "Season" hasn't started yet. This is shocking to me considering that we already have two two-hour practices and two (approximately 2 1/2 hour time commitment) games per week. Using my terrific math skills this translates into an average of nine! hours per week committed to baseball.

Why didn't someone inform me of these numbers before this conversation happened:
Eliseo: Mom, can I play baseball?
Me : Sure, that sounds fun.

Let's talk about Asians for a minute. How many times have I heard people commiserate on the amount of time Asian children have to spend on school work and music lessons. It's true, too. I've seen elementary aged kids spend 3 hours on homework and that's after they went to cram school and music lessons. If you search Youtube for children playing piano you will find a plethora of five year old Asians playing Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, etc. They have this box-like contraption under their feet that helps them use the damper pedal since their little legs swing about a foot above it. If you are a Westerner, search your Western soul for what you think about this. Does it feel like pushing a five year old to practice piano two hours a day is...excessive? It feels excessive to Westerners because it is pretty much an impossible task for us since all our children's peers don't have to do anything excessive like that and so they would naturally resent it. It works in Asian cultures because all the child's peers are spending equal amounts of time in cram schools and music lessons and because the parents can easily say, "I had to do this when I was your age!" So it is a matter of course for the Asian child.

However, I've now discovered that Asians have nothing on us Westerners when it comes to pushing kids into spending excessive amounts of time on a pursuit. Take, for example, nine! hours a week spent playing baseball in the Pre-Season. I'm afraid to see what kind of time commitments will be expected during the Season. Eliseo loves baseball so far. He feels dressed to the nines in his uniform and asks me seriously if he looks like a "real" baseball player. I love to see him having fun. He doesn't really get much exercise-most of the little league games seem to consist of the following: the pitcher pitches, the batter swings and misses or doesn't swing at all, the ball bounces off some portion of the catcher's gear, the catcher jumps up, throws off his mask to chase down the ball, throws it back to the pitcher who misses and then chases down the ball so he can pitch again. It would be annoying if it wasn't so cute and funny-but it melts my heart to see how much he loves it.

But..but..but..the life lessons he's learning in little league could be learned, IMHO, in WAAAAAAY less than nine! hours per week. These nine! hours per week, I'm pretty sure, are not going to end in a professional baseball career for Eliseo. Or even a sports scholarship. But if I could get my little Eliseo to spend nine! hours per week on academic pursuits (after school) there could be a real chance of an academic scholarship in his future. He would breeze his way through college and have his choice of careers and be set for life. But instead we are spending nine! hours per week playing little league baseball. It just seems....excessive.

I'm just being honest.

2011-03-10T13:46:00.001-08:00

My aerobics instructor recently had breast augmentation. And I'm jealous! (In a I'm happy for her way). She looks great. Not unnatural at all, just great. Would I ever pay thousands of dollars for breast augmentation. Probably not. Would I do it if I won it in a drawing? Probably yes. I'm not entirely sure where I stand because the point is pretty much moot. If I had thousands of dollars to spend frivolously, like pocket change....hmmm....I don't know. Most likely I'd rather buy airfare to Taiwan. If I could buy all the airfare to Taiwan I wanted and still had thousands of dollars to spend frivolously, like pocket change....hm.......tempting. See? Moot.

But to be able to buy undergarments in the actual women's section like a woman and not in the 'training' section with the 10 year olds? A pleasant (and vain) dream.

An aside:
I just heard Lily ask her best friend, Eeliana, "Do you want some lemonade?" Eeliana responds suspiciously, "Is it made out of chicken blood?"

Does she know us or what?

Don't die of shock....

2011-03-08T10:00:00.000-08:00

but I am going to post some photos.

The trampoline. Still popular, even in winter.

Rune really likes to pose with gravestones. Or Grant really likes to pose his kids with gravestones. Or I have no idea why this picture was taken or when, I just included it because I didn't have another shot of Rune.

Lily all dressed up for Chinese New Year holding her Fa Gao. She got her picture taken for the newspaper this day. That's the great thing about small town papers. You just have to dress up in Chinese New Year clothes and it's news worthy!

Taken by themselves the following three pictures seem to prove that Violet only ever wears her nightgown and that I never comb her hair.

However, if you look closely, this picture proves that I do actually dress her occasionally. Unfortunately it still proves that I never comb her hair. It also showcases Lily's fabulous optometry skills. These were big dollar glasses.

The following two photos indicate my addiction to taking close ups of Alma and his earnest blue eyes. Notice I have pretty much the same shot of him in the sidebar.

2011-02-25T08:48:00.000-08:00

Rune found these fun sentences. Can you figure them out?

Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog.

so many dynamos

Sit on a potato pan Otis.

Valentine Poetry

2011-02-15T13:29:00.000-08:00

By Lily Smith
7 years old
(She may possibly have a future career with Hallmark)

My Little Sweetheart

I give my love a kiss,
It gave him a bliss,
I gave my love a dove,
And sparkles came from above.

My Valentine

Won't you be my Valentine?
It would be so very fine,
If you would be mine.
If you didn't I would whine.

In this season of gushy Christmas letters

2010-12-06T15:59:00.000-08:00

I will now recap a few of the highlights of my 2010 that would not make it into a Christmas letter.

1. The day I took Lily to the wrong birthday party and left her there. With complete strangers.

Long version: Lily came home with a birthday invite to Heaven's birthday party. I put it safely in the drawer where all random papers, school notes, important things that don't have to be dealt with immediately go. Lily took it back out at some point to admire it and, of course, lost it. We were positive of the date and the place of the party, just not the time. So we bought a present and started checking the park at 10 am. Nothing. 11 am. Nothing. 1 pm. A party! I pull up and Lily immediately sees a friend. She yells, "Lizbeth!" and runs off the play. I take the present over to the present table and ask a pair of grandparents, "Is this Heaven's party?" The Grandma says, "Yes, this is the party." I ask when I should pick Lily up and she points me to another lady who is busy decorating. I ask that lady who gives me a slightly strange look and says, "An hour?" in a voice that says she's a bit confused why I would ask that. I put the look and voice down to party stress and figure it must have said on the invitation what time the party would be over and so she's wondering why I'm asking. So I go merrily on my way, amuse myself at home for a hour, then come back for Lily. As I pull up I see that there are a disproportionate number of small toddlers and adults at the party and a surprising lack of second grade girls. I sit down next to Lily who happily announces, "Heaven never came!" To her own party? Then I notice two very small children, about 3 and 1, who have special cakes with a candle in them. The mother of the kids with cakes comes to check on them and I ask, "Whose party is this?" She answers with surprise that it's Roslyn's party. I apologize profusely, she's really nice, I sort of explain the mix up but leave out the part about Grandma because I don't want to make the family feel that I'm blaming everything on poor deaf Grandma, she says she just figured Lily was Lizbeth's friend (Lizbeth happens to be cousins with Roslyn), we leave the present with Roslyn even though she's inundated with presents already and her parents are having to force her to keep opening when she really just wants to play with the first thing she opened, I try to leave discreetly, Lily loudly insists on finishing her cake, I finally manage to skulk off with Lily in tow. The end.

P.S. It turns out Heaven's party was a 4pm. And Lily has been informed that she will no longer be allowed to attend birthday parties if the invitation is lost.

2. The day I caught one of my primary students getting a drink of water out of my diva cup.

Long version: Be forewarned. If you do not know what a diva cup is then you may not want to google it because understanding this story could be very disturbing for you.

This year Eliseo has become good friends with Daniel who also happens to be one of the children in my primary class at church. Daniel comes over often. He's a cute and funny kid who has no problem making himself at home. One day, after school, as I'm puttering around the house, I wander into the bathroom on some errand and stop dead in my tracks as I see Daniel gulping water out of my diva cup which I had rinsed that morning and set on the bathroom vanity. My immediate impulse is to scream at him to stop but I perceive in the same instant the awkward situation that would result when he wants to know what is so wrong about drinking from that cup. So I stand there and cringe mightily until he is done and runs out of the bathroom then I grab the cup and put it on the highest shelf I can find. The end.

3. The day I tried to imitate my children and fell on my bottom.

Long version: We arrive at church. Late, probably. The kids, on their way to the doors, all decide to stomp on a green plastic cover thing embedded into the grass. I'm guessing it's covering some sort of lawn sprinkling controls or something. I decide it would be cute and funny if I, also, stomp on it on my way into church. So I do. And my church shoe slides right over the green plastic and I ungracefully land flat on my bottom. I would like to say that no one saw me, but I can't. Although the plus side to being late to church is that there are not AS MANY people in the parking lot to see you when you do something ridiculous.

4. The day I fell on my bottom during choir practice.

Long version: I decide that joining the ward choir would be a good bonding experience for Lily and I. It's the first day we attend. I'm at the end of the row of altos. The choir director tells us to scooch over a tad. We scooch and scooch until I scooch myself right off the small step that leads down to the piano and I fall ungracefully onto my bottom. Lily looks at me like all daughters would look at their mother when she falls on her bottom in front of the choir on the first day.

I can't wait to see what new mortifications 2011 will bring.

2010-11-01T13:46:00.000-07:00

The Winger's slogan "Just Wing It" irritates the heck out of me. I love plays on words just as much as the next advertising slogan sucker but I believe that these plays on words should at least make a modicum of sense in the multiple contexts to which they are referring. Otherwise it is not "play" it is just silly.

I have to pass a large Wingers billboard every time I go into town. And every time it irritates me. In one context Just Wing It obviously refers to "just eat a lot of wings." So far so good. But the other context should make sense with the real meaning of the phrase which is to try something even though you are not properly sure how to carry out the action. And the action referenced to must be the action of eating the wings? I suppose you could have some sort of esoteric conversation as to the proper way to eat wings, but really, eating chicken is not something you have to wing. Most everyone has been doing it since chicken was domesticated around 100,000 years ago (Note: that is not a real fact, I made it up since Grant the archaeologist is not around to ask). This slogan really only makes sense if it is targeting babies with newly erupted teeth or long time vegetarians. People who don't have any recent experience in chicken eating and who may actually not have an idea how to properly execute the action. However, I don't think this is Wingers target audience. In which case the slogan is irritating.

And just as soon as I forget that I'm annoyed at their slogan I make the turn off into town and.... there it is: the actual restaurant. And I'm irritated all over again.

For the love of Pete can someone else please rent that billboard!

It's that time of year again

2010-10-26T13:53:00.000-07:00

In which I begin to hate my life because it's winter.

Ode to Winter Hatred
by Sally

Snow. I hate you.
Cold. I hate you.
Frost. I hate you.
Hot Chocolate. I hate the necessity of you.
Sledding. I hate you.
Snowmen. I hate you.
Ice. I hate you.
Winter Wonderland. I think there is absolutely nothing wonderful about you at all. And I hate you.
Eileen. I hate you because it is 90 degrees where you live and I mistake extreme jealousy for hatred.
People who live between the Tropic of Cancer and the Tropic of Capricorn. I hate all of you for the same above reason.
Late October. I hate you.
November. I hate you.
December. If it wasn't for Christmas I would hate you. I almost hate you anyway.
January. I loathe you.
February. I hate and loathe you.
March. I hate you because you NEVER go out like a lamb. You are lion through and through.
Any temperature below 65 F. I hate you.
Winter. Apparently some people like you, but I don't.
I hate you.

2010-10-01T08:10:00.000-07:00

It seems I remember one time my brother-in-law telling me that he just could not stand to put gas in his car. So he had his mom do it. At the time I thought, "What a doofus." But I completely take back my unuttered criticism because now I understand. It was The Chore That Broke The Camel's Back. My Chore is uploading pictures on the computer. Previously I said it was because I was pregnant and hated bending over, but now I know that was a lie. I just hate it, pregnant or not. So from now on I will post pictures completely sporadically. They may or may not have anything to do with what I am posting. Also, I will be posting sporadically. Oh, wait...I already do that.

I bought a piano last week and it arrived Monday. After almost 20 years of only brief exposure to pianos I am more than a bit rusty, but I have been playing happily all week nevertheless. It is 47" tall, black, shiny and I am in love with it. Right now my favorite to play is Minuet in G by Bach from his Anna Magdelena Notebook.

We've made decent progress in the house remodel. Recently finished are the floors upstairs and most of the balustrade. If you are ever considering refinishing a hardwood floor with one of those big floor sanders, I would reconsider. It turns out beautifully, but ... the dust. I don't want to talk about it.

A few weeks ago my angelic son, Alma, cut his little sister's hair. It happened while I was in the shower so I did not catch him until he had sheared her of about three fourths of her gorgeous, mid-back length hair. It was strewn all over the house and they both acted like it was great fun. Until I unleashed my fury. Of which I had a lot. Then it wasn't fun anymore. Alma was sent to bed for the rest of the day (about 10 hours) then I forgave him.

This is my very, very, very, very good friend, Lin Yu Shan. If you need something done, then ask her because she is amazing at getting stuff done.

This is Violet driving the scooter. We are not actually moving at this moment because I am taking the picture and although I do see people taking on cell phones while driving a scooter I don't think picture taking while driving a scooter would be safe. But she did love to stand in front of me and grab the handle bars just like this while I was driving. It's really a shame that fun activities like this are illegal in the U.S.A.

We stayed at Shen Ai Yi's apartment during our stay. I loved getting up in the morning and seeing Shen Ai Yi studying her scriptures. She would go on her daily walk and bring us back a sack full of mangoes for breakfast. Rune ate 3 mangoes for breakfast for a week straight. She would watch Koren drama at night and explain to me what was going on because I couldn't read the sub titles.

This is Li Hai Guang, or John. He is the head guard of the building where we used to live and where we stayed during our vacation because Shen Ai Yi lives there, too. He used to dye his hair black, but has decided to go All Natural and looks fabulous. He was so fun to talk to when we came down to the courtyard with the kids to let them play.

That is one of the really fun things about living in Taiwan. Apartment living with communal space. There are always friends and neighbors to talk to, kids to play with. This is A-mui and Oh Bwa Sa.

This is Oh Bwa Sa and Shu Mama taking the skins off shallots in preparation for the building potluck where they will cook a huge vat of dzung dz. We'll get to the building feast another day.

We were super lucky to have our visit to Taiwan coincide with Jye Ting's visit! Look at Jye Ting's muscles, he's been doing P-90 X.

And the kids run around the courtyard playing to their little heart's content in the beautiful Taiwan sunshine.

Taiwan series-food

2010-06-19T08:56:00.000-07:00

Dr. Eric and Grant in the middle of a deep conversation while Violet stuffs her face and Rune eyes something he wants on the other side of the table.

Mia, Aliana and Johnson. Mia says the sweet and sour squid is the best and I think she probably didn't get enough because I ate most of it.

Shabu Shabu. We almost Shabu-ed ourselves into Shamu the whale. Very memorable here were the cooked, then frozen sweet potatoes, whole and in their skins. It's like vegetable ice cream! Except it doesn't drip. Awesome!

Chou dou fu (stinky tofu) and oh-a jian. This stuff is truly delicious but we could not do it justice at the moment because it was already our 4th meal of the day. However, it involves oysters so I did eat until I felt sick. And please notice my super straight hair. You can't even tell it's about 90% humidity. My gratitude for $100 straight perms knows no bounds.

Yeah, I'm still trying to fit as many oysters as I can into my over stuffed stomach. In the background is Hwei Wen, the Lin's daughter. We attended her wedding dinner many years ago and now she has two daughters who I am sure are gorgeous because Hwei Wen certainly is.

Rune concentrating hard on getting the best piece before anyone else can get it. C'mon Alexis, slap his hand!

Mandy, Kelly and Alexis were very nice and let us eat most of the food! This is Bei Jing duck and A tsai.

This is syan su ji. It is made by one of the coolest families ever. It is so yummy that Violet can't keep her shirt on. I know several of you that read my blog are slobbering right now.

John's wife and I with the salty/sweet peaches she taught me to make.

In the process of being taught and discussing the question of tsau fen versus mei dz fen. I will devour both, of course.

Here we each ate a $5 piece of sashimi along with a whole bunch of other sashimi and a bucketful of oysters. And a lot of other stuff. Shen Ai Yi is the provider of the feast but Jie Ting is the master of ordering. I think I am beginning to be noticably fatter in this picture.

An accidental picture of lichees. The lichees were a gift from Chiu Hwei and Lin Ba Ba. They warned us to watch for worms because they hadn't been sprayed but promised they were tastier than the sprayed ones. They were right.

Several great memories in this restaurant. A Thanksgiving with You Can School. Take home im-shee ordered for my birthday as a surprise from Grant when I came home from work. Or was it our anniversary? I don't remember the occasion, but I remember the im-shee! Several desperate trips for dinner when my kids were starving and I could not even bring myself to open the fridge because I was pregnant and sick. I would load the kids on the scooter, cry all the way to the restaurant and order shao long bao and dou miao. And give thanks that I lived in a country where dinner desperation doesn't have to end in PB&J or fast food. And now another great memory: lunch with Jeng Jye Mei and her sister.

Rune still has room for the watermelon after pigging down all the feng li sya chou.

In this picture I see sz gua, xiao bai tsai, bo tsai, kong xin tsai, ju swun, ku gua, qie dz, qing jiang tsai, bai luo bo, dong gua and ... okay, I'm just going stop before I start crying.

Need a fish head for the dinner's soup? Such a simple matter in Taiwan.

Need a pork stomach, intestines, fresh sausage, a pig's foot or rou pian for hot pot? Such a simple matter in Taiwan.

Wait? You don't want to cook? You just want to buy something easy and cheap but that isn't junk food? Such a simple matter in Taiwan.

I can't talk about about the fruit, it's too painful.

Wa Gwei and Mi Gao. The breakfast of champions.

I went to Taiwan for two weeks

2010-06-08T12:24:00.000-07:00

And I didn't want to come back. Even though three of my kids were still in America. I had so much fun I didn't miss them at all. It's okay, though, because as far as I could tell they didn't miss me either. I was easily replaced by Grandma. In fact, Alma has only recently stopped calling me 'Grandma'.

In any case, if I was Cinderella my happily ever after would be to spend the rest of my life in Taiwan. I may have waxed too rhapsodic about the virtues of Taiwan and my preference for all things Taiwanese because my niece asked me, accusingly, "Are you even American?" Sorry, Beth!

Homeschooling and what I've learned about myself

2010-04-29T10:17:00.000-07:00

Homeschooling...it's kind of a loaded subject. I've homeschooled for 3 years now and I've met those who believe public school is incompetent at best and evil at worst and homeschooling is the only way to truly educate kids and I've met those who believe homeschoolers are weirdos whose kids will grow up to be so socially retarded they will have no hope at a normal life. Of course they are both right as one can always find people at both ends of any spectrum. Of course they are also both wrong, very wrong. Most homeschoolers are very normal and well adjusted people and most public schoolers are very normal and well adjusted people. In my family we both homeschool and public school and are most certainly not well adjusted or normal people.

For quite a while I held a secret interest in homeschooling and an admiration for people who do it while at the same time considering that I did not have the guts to do it myself. That is, until we moved back from Taiwan and my oldest had a horrendous year in second grade that demolished his budding and childish self-esteem. Then I found I had plenty of guts and began homeschooling without reservation and in the face of quite a few who thought I was making a serious mistake. To be completely fair, I do not think the school system was to blame. Rune had lived in Taiwan from 3 to 7 years old. He had gone to 3 years of school in Taiwan. He was at a point where he was beginning to prefer Chinese to English. He was essentially, socially Taiwanese. However, we all blithely assumed, being American, he would have no troubles transitioning to American school and peers. In short, we were wrong. If you remember, he is also my worrier, an attribute that did not stand out in the Taiwanese culture but became a large problem here. So we started homeschooling.

I discovered quickly that I have no aptitude for homeschooling. I have no patience and essentially no desire to spend my whole morning teaching. And I have even less patience and desire to come up with things like science or art projects. If I ever tried it was always a disaster due to the toddlers and/or babies of the house considering the project an opportunity for their favorite pasttime-destruction. I rapidly gave up all pretense of being any good at homeschooling and left off "teaching" and all crafts or projects. This made Rune and I both much happier. We fell into a routine of Rune working alone and only coming to me if he had a question. When he was done I would check his work and he would correct it and we called it a day. In the beginning he naturally had a tendency to waste time and want to play and I would have to continually remind (threaten) him to keep working. Then he discovered that if he worked diligently he could be done well before lunch time and would therefore be free the rest of the day. We joined a homeschooling group that met once a week and enjoyed it a lot. It worked for us and after the first year he didn't want to go back to school and I felt he could still use some time off to be comfortable with himself before he tried public school again so we went a second year.

After the second year, I felt it was time to go back to school for several reasons. One, he was envious of his brother having friends and was beginning to miss social interactions with his peers. He didn't want to go back to school but I felt that it was not because he loved to be homeschooled but that he was afraid to "fail" at public school. I didn't want him not going to school because he was afraid of it and I really thought he had enough confidence now to do well. Second, I began to feel that academically he might suffer. He was doing well in all his workbooks and I rarely had to help him understand concepts, but (as I've mentioned) since I stink at homeschooling he definitely was lacking in things like science projects, arts and crafts, writing projects and field trips.

During this second year I began to notice that my second child was a slacker at school. He often forgot homework, his writing was atrocious and his reading below par. He blamed everything on either the teacher or me. We were supposed to keep track of everything for him and his lost homework was never his own fault. I thought how Rune worked so diligently on his own and perceived that Eliseo could benefit from the same lesson. So Rune went to school and Elie stayed home.

Hoo boy, is Elie a different child than his brother. It took him six months to learn what his brother learned in one. Namely, that if you just sit down and DO THE WORK, then it will get done and your mom will stop yelling at you and you can go play. Sure, I could have sat next to him all morning and by force of my presence he would have kept working and gotten done just fine. But I didn't want that. I wanted him to be self-reliant. I wanted him to stop thinking that his education is "the teacher's" responsibility and consider that he is the master of what he learns. He wasn't interested in that lesson and I will spare you the gory details of how I finally taught it to him, if, in fact, he has actually learned it. It remains that he now almost always finishes before noon and so he will be going back to public school after summer break.

Now, with just a month left of school I begin to reflect on what I've learned about my kids, myself and what I really think about homeschooling. This is what I've learned about myself. I am most emphatically not a good homeschooler. I don't enjoy it. I feel that if I devote as much attention as I should to the "student" that I run the risk of doing a disservice to my younger kids who, I feel, have a more legitimate claim to my attentions. I have interests-exercise, reading, studying Chinese, surfing the net etc-that I (selfishly) am not willing to relinquish in order to accompany my child all morning in his studies. Most importantly, I've learned that when it comes to teaching I am MUCH too hard on my kids. I expect them to be like myself, i.e. academically gifted and diligent. Academics was my forte. Getting A's was what I did better than almost anything else. Academics came relatively easily to me and I worked harder at it than other things because I loved to. It is satisfying to do something you are really good at and I expected my kids to have that same drive and satisfaction. Guess what, they don't. I think I may have influenced them to a certain degree and Rune may have some of it on his own but they still can't live up to my expectations. And it drives me bananas!!! I know my expectations are my own problem and I can't foist them off on my kids but it grates on me all morning to see Eliseo make mistakes that I know darn well he shouldn't be making and only makes because he chooses not to focus as diligently as I would. And (I can barely even write this) because he could care less if he gets a few problems wrong. He doesn't even do that badly, it's all me and my ridiculously high expectations that I have of myself and therefore think HE should have for HIMSELF. Really, it makes me want to scream and it's probably not fair of me to put either of us through this.

What I've learned about my kids. Rune is stronger than he thought he was. It took him much longer to find friends than he'd hoped and he had several months of feeling that he was the 'weird' kid at school, but he plodded along and didn't let it get him down and now he enjoys school a lot and has several friends. I really feel that the two years off from public school gave him the breather that he needed and the opportunity to define himself without the external pressure of peers. I don't believe every kid needs this, but he did. I've learned that Eliseo is basically Alvin the Chipmunk (this was pointed out by my sister and it is so true). He is often unfocused and can be supremely annoying and has a tendency to not listen to authority (not to be rebellious but just because he is too much interested in the fun he is having), but at the same time he is the guy everyone wants to be friends with because he is so much fun. He is the 'center' of our group of kids. If any of them have an accomplishment or some cool thing they want to share they ALL go to Eliseo first. He has proven to me that he can be diligent and has made great strides in taking charge of himself and not deferring responsibility to others.

What do I think about homeschooling? I've perused the books and my conclusion is that the very same information found in them is found in public school books. Kids have the same opportunity to learn the same information whether in homeschool or public school. What they do with that opportunity is the rub. It is undoubtedly easier for a child to slink into the corners of public school and not take advantage of this opportunity. Homeschool is an advantage in this respect. If, however, a child can be taught to teach himself then he can learn everything there is to learn from either setting. I know there are those that feel that homeschooling has the advantage of letting a child learn faster--if they are capable and so inclined. But, for myself, I don't feel that there is really any advantage in moving so far ahead of your peers. Most people will end up at the same point eventually. Kids that learn to read at two years old will not necessarily be better readers than their peers by sixth grade. They may even be surpassed by some that didn't learn to read until kindergarten because the other child may have an aptitude or an insatiable interest in reading. I lived in a culture where kids were routinely pushed to their limits and far surpassed American kids academically in grades 1-12. Interestingly, no one homeschools in Taiwan (that I know of) and yet the students there are very academically competent. This is because Taiwanese parents and teachers expect A LOT out of the students and the students, therefore, put A LOT of effort into their studies. I've known quite a few elementary students spend 4-6 hours a day on cram schools and homework after regular school was over. However, once they got into college they relaxed. They basically considered college to be a breeze, whereas Americans generally consider college to be where they are really challenged. The result being that by the end of college they are at the same point. I found Taiwanese professionals to be just as competent as Americans, not more or less. Skipping a few grades does not make a genius. A genius will come out in whatever setting they are placed. A child that is "bored" at school because it is so easy for them can be challenged at home in so many other ways by their parents. I wouldn't worry so much about skipping them ahead a grade in school, but rather encourage them with other challenges at home. Like learning a foreign language or reading a Russian author or discussing world affairs at dinner or playing a musical instrument or all of the above. Intelligence is so much more than being able to do 4th grade math in 3rd grade. I could be wrong about that, though.

Note: I forgot to mention that I do think a child may be so academically gifted that the pace of public school bores them and they will either start trouble making or will become known as the "know-it-all" and be disliked. Homeschool can be helpful to these kids because they could work at their own pace at home, finish as early as they pleased and then have free time for other pursuits.

I also feel that public school offers distinct advantages after elementary school. Not every parent can become expert in English, Spanish, Math, Chemistry, Physics, Sports, History, Computers etc. But in public school kids have an opportunity to be taught by teachers that specialize in these subjects and therefore have an opportunity to learn great things from them if they will take advantage of it. It seems easier to me to teach my kids to want to learn from those teachers and how to get the most from them rather than trying to become expert in every subject myself (which would be impossible anyway). Of course, if they are motivated enough, they can learn these things from books since the authors of the books are experts themselves. Which they may have to do anyway since, unfortunately, some teachers are as lame in the classroom as I am at home. Also, public school offers equipment that cannot be matched at home unless you are wealthy. Chemistry labs, physics labs, biology labs, access to expensive computer drafting and photography software etc. In short, I don't think I would attempt to homeschool past elementary school unless my child was having a really tough time at school or otherwise getting himself into trouble. Of course I will let my kids know that at the first whiff of illegal or morally reprehensible behavior (you know, like drugs or teenage sex) I will drag them out of school kicking and screaming and lock them in the house with a pile of homeschool books.

And thus, ends my epistle on homeschooling. I have purged my brain and feel much better.

The Garden

2010-04-15T12:44:00.000-07:00

This post is entirely boring and written merely so I can remember what and where I planted things in my garden, because if I write it down anywhere else I will either lose it or forget where it is.

Rows listed from grass side, not fence side.

1. ta-mei hwa daikon
2. kohlrabi
3. kohlrabi
4. "Hybrid one kilo" bai tsai
5. li sun sweet cabbage
6. broad leaf mustard green/nan fong mustard green
7. san-ho mustard green
8. lettuce
9. Taichung 13 edible podded sugar pea?
10. dwarf grey sugar pea?
11. dou miao pea shoots? (totally unsure of order of peas)
12. ta-mei hwa daikon/cilantro
13. kaoshiung chang dou
14. kaoshiung chang dou
15. suhyo long cucumber (plus on thai eggplant on end)
16. hybrid tasty queen cucumber

To be continued as weather warms.

This video kills me

2010-03-27T13:43:00.000-07:00

I don't really know why.

I like the song and it makes me giggle at the same time.

I think it sounds sort of hauntingly Wuthering Heights-ish, but it makes me giggle at the same time.

The part at the end where she is waving her arm around makes me outright laugh.

I also like to routinely imitate the part where she squats down with her arms outstretched toward the camera and then abruptly pops up and circles both arms above her head while gyrating her hips. It's how I amuse myself.

Who can find the Napolean Dynamite move? Hint: It's around 1:37.

Book Review: Finished

2010-02-26T13:14:00.000-08:00

After 3 1/2 weeks I'm finally finished. I completely neglected my kids and house but I have no regrets. It's one of the best books I've ever read. All the while I was reading I was saying to myself, "She's almost as good as Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky [my favorite authors]." Then, when googling her, I was not entirely surprised to find that she was Russian by birth and American by choice. She's not quite as good as her fellow Russians at character development and a certain literary quaility that I define to myself as mundane clarity, at which Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky are masters. But she is definitely better than most and her philosophy is amazingly persuasive. I feel like I used to feel in college when I learned something new from someone great. How I used to feel when I learned something from Newton or Mendell--admiration for their ability to discover and pride in my ability to understand.

The book was originally described to me as political but I found it to be much more philosophical. Ostensibly, it follows the descent of America into Socialism and its destruction by its twisted moral code sped along by the voluntary removal of men of ability from society. Underneath, the novel is a vehicle for the declaration of her personal moral philosophy which is what gave the characters a bit of an allegorical feel. She's a brilliant essayist but almost as brilliant at fiction as she made a very powerful love story out of logical thinking scientists and industrialists.

I said before that it seemed she was saying that the only honest and true thing was industrialism but by the end she goes way beyond that to proclaim that the highest values are human achievement and human self-esteem.

She changed several of my opinions that I'd believed I solidly held, she also strengthened others by naming and clarifying the reasons behind them. One of her surprising feats is that she strengthened and clarified the principles of my religion even though she was vehemently opposed to organized religion. Not so surprising, though, if you go by the tenet that truth supports truth. A tenet I think she would agree with as one of her philosophical absolutes is that A=A, or exsistence exists. Another surprise is that although she demolished, for the most part, my Socialist leanings, her philosophy of government supports my endorsement of a government health care system and explains why it has worked in other free countries. I don't know if she would agree with that. :)

In conclusion, if you want to be wowed by a piece of literature and can afford to vacate yourself from life for about a month then read Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand.

Disclaimer: Several of my co-book clubbers thoroughly disliked the book and didn't continue to read it after the first third. One was already passionately a lazy fair capitalist (I know I spelled that wrong, I just like to) and felt the book was overkill on opinions she already held. However, I think she gave up too early as the book goes far beyond pro-capitalism/anti-Socialism into a complete philosophy on the morality of life. Plus the plot just gets more interestingly action thrillerish as the book goes on. Another, couldn't go past some early disturbing references to sex. Again, I think she gave up too early as these early disturbing references were made not to endorse their smuckiness but to later pinpoint their disturbingness. Although, I will say that I, also, am not a fan of sex in literature and that while I can see the necessity of the references to her point, those references could have been more vague to the same effect.

Book Review: Atlas Shrugged

2010-02-20T09:37:00.000-08:00

This is the book I'm reading for book club this month. It's 1100 pages so it's debatable whether I will finish it on time. It is, apparently, a classic, although I've never heard of it before. Which only means I'm hopelessly uninformed because it absolutely reads like a classic.

The forward, written by some Ayn Rand expert, mentions that she believes strongly in objectivism. I'm not sure what that entails yet, because he also warns that if you continue reading the forward it will ruin the book by revealing its surprises. So I didn't read any more of the forward. But I'm looking forward to reading it in the future because I am interested in what Ayn Rand is getting at in her book. She very obviously has an agenda. She is an excellent writer so her characters are complex enough to be real, and yet they have the box-y feel of an allegory.

So far, I disagree strongly with her seeming premise, which ,as far as I can tell, is that the only real and honest thing is industrialism. Progress. The unabashed quest for money. Her best characters belong in this camp. Her weak and pitiable characters are in the camp of philanthropy and social consciousness. And yet they aren't, because it's apparent that they only give lip service to those ideals. Truly, they desire power and money as much as the strong characters, but they are too weak to be true to the "industrial ideal" and their sin lies in the fact that they hide their jealousy and weakness behind a false "good of society" attitude.

The allegory seems to follow an Adam Smith path. Namely, "by pursuing his own interest, [the individual] frequently promotes that of the society more effectually than when he intends to promote it."

In other words those who claim to promote the interest of society are hypocrites and will cause harm to society in the end. And those who openly operate on the principle of self-interest ultimately further the good of society and are the better people because they are true to their natures.

However, I am only 100 pages into the book. Which means I still have 10/11 ths of the book to read, which means that I fully expect that Ms. Rand is not so predictable that she would allow me to figure out the whole premise of the book in the first 100 pages and that I will have to change my opinion in the future.

To be continued.......

In honor of Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T14:40:00.001-08:00

I would now like to recount the touching story of Grant's and my engagement.

Grant had made it clear many times that he would like to get married. And though I loved him and we'd talked of marriage in our future I had made it clear that I wasn't ready to go there (as in engagement) yet. You see, getting engaged was just embarrassing. BYU was over for the regular school year and I was off to Texas for a 10 week Molecular Biology camp thingie. Grant and I tearfully said our goodbyes for the duration of the summer. Then my mother came to Utah (I can't remember why) and we were driving to my grandparent's house. Mom, like all moms, dug for details on my life and I confessed that Grant and I would probably get married, maybe December.... Then, Mom proceeded to tell me how summer is such a better time. More people could attend, weather wouldn't be an issue, there is only a two week Christmas vacation between semesters, etc., etc. In the end I agreed to get married in the summer. Let me make this abundantly clear. My mother talked me into getting married. We got to my grandparents house, I called Grant and said, "Um, do you want to get married this summer after I get back from Molecular Biology camp." And Grant said, "Are you serious?" And that was how it happened. I know you are all reeling from the romanticism.

Now, before you go and feel all guilty, Mom, I would like to assert that Grant is very happy for your intervention.
Hee hee.

Hooray for leaky borders!

2010-02-11T14:41:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I know the economic problems caused by the influx of our Southern neighbors and that's not so great. But, on the other hand, the vast increase in the numbers of Mexicans in our country means we now have a prayer of getting decent food, even in rural America. I found pig's feet at our local (extremely) small town supermarket and fixed them for dinner. It was a good day.

P.S. If you're not jealous, you should be.

My son is the most paranoid kid on the planet

2010-01-29T08:09:00.000-08:00

It's true. Here is just a bit of proof.
1. He can't go to sleep without a night light and he must have something playing on the CD player.
2. He wakes up multiple times in the night to a) check on Grant and I to make sure we are still there and not dead and b) to turn the CD player back on.
3. If Grant or I go anywhere he badgers us mercilessly to state the exact amount of time we will be gone. We always refuse to answer such a ridiculous request. Then, after we are gone for about 10 minutes, he begins to badger the other parent. "Don't you think Dad should be back by now?" "Don't you think we should call Mom on the cell phone?"
4. If anyone in the family gets sick he is afraid they have cancer.
5. etc....

This is a trial for me because I am not a worrier. I have no patience for needless and fruitless worrying and it drives me bananas. It is apparently a family trait because his Smith grandparents are also worriers. They have worrying down to a science. Or an art. However you want to look at it. Their worrying also drives me bananas. But they are my in-laws and so they are allowed to be quirky. And plus I usually don't have to live in the same house with them. But Rune...his constant worrying, day in and day out, I don't know how to deal with!

Usually I deal with it badly.
Rune: Mom, when you take Lily to the dentist the roads might be slippery. Are you going to drive slowly? Because there might be black ice on the road and if you drive too fast you could crash. Are you going to take the cell phone? Is the number still xxx-xxxx? etc. etc.
Mom: No, I'm not going to drive slowly or carefully. First, I'm going to tear out of the driveway like a bat out of .... (sudden pause)
Dad: Out of a cave.
Mom: Yeah, like a bat out of a cave. (getting into the story) And I'm going to gun it all the way to the dentist and careen around the corners. (starts giggling) And I'm going to slam on the brakes when I get there and the van will slide to a stop just millimeters from the door.
Dad: And then she's going to rev the engine as loudly as she can. (makes loud revving noises)
Mom and Dad: (laugh hysterically at the image of me aggressively revving the Caravan engine outside the dentist office)
Rune: (the beginnings of a smile, but still looking worried) You're not really, are you?

And then sometimes I deal with it very badly.
Mom: Rune, if you keep worrying about everything all the time then all the unneeded stress will shorten your life span.
Rune: Mom! Don't tell me that! Now I have to worry about dying early if I don't stop worrying!

And trying to be reasonable doesn't help at all. If you have ever tried to reassure a worrier then you know that it is completely useless.
Mom: If something happened to Dad then the police or the hospital will call, so since we haven't heard anything then he's probably okay.
Rune: I know.
Mom: You know that worrying doesn't help anything. It can't prevent anything bad from happening.
Rune: I know.
Mom: You know that if you don't worry you will feel happier.
Rune: I know.
Mom: You know that Dad always drives carefully and, anyway, he has 4 wheel drive.
Rune: I know.
Mom: So there's no reason to worry and no point to it, okay? Let's be happy, okay?
Rune: Okay. But do you think we could call him on the cell phone?

Ah, Rune. My eleven year old worry wart. So full of worry and insecurity. And yet, at the same time, so brave and determined to forge ahead despite his fears.

I'm really proud of him, after all.

I feel sorry for myself again

2010-01-25T08:35:00.001-08:00

because the house up the street, which has 4 beds, 2 baths, a .3 acre yard and irrigation rights recently went into forclosure and Grant's co-worker bought it for 65K. Ah well, such is life, right?

But on the bright side, one day in the future, at a distant family reunion, with grandkids listening raptly I will tell the tale of when we crammed ourselves into a one bedroom house and the awesome family togetherness it fostered. But not how I threatened the kids with death and mayhem EVERY night to go to sleep because they won't stop talking and giggling due to the fact that they are all the same room.

I felt sorry for myself

2010-01-20T09:31:00.000-08:00

because my family of seven people are currently living in a one bedroom, one bathroom house.

But I've changed my mind. Suddenly, I feel very rich and blessed to have my one bedroom and one bathroom.

The ceiling just fell down.

2010-01-17T15:23:00.000-08:00

Just kidding!

Ha Ha! I really, really, super hope someone fell for it. Especially Felipe!

Two posts a week

2010-01-16T13:52:00.000-08:00

That's the challenge issued to me by my sister, who is both competitive and currently bored. It's okay. I like blogging. It makes me feel important and validated, like the whole whole world is the audience and I'm center stage. Never mind that a large chunk of the world does not have access to the internet. Or that the rest of the world that does have access to the internet doesn't care and just wants to be left alone and not bothered by my blog blathering. There is an atom of humanity that reads my blog (okay it's a hydrogen atom) and it makes me feel important and validated.

Now onto the subject that I need to feel validated about. My house remodel. It's extremely messy and disruptive. Not to mention costly. The plaguing question is: Will, in the end, I consider the money spent to be worth the extra space (the remodel in question is refinishing of basement and attic)? Or will, in the end, I consider that I should have just dealt with my small space for the 3-4 years we will live here and saved a bundle of money? Factor in the consideration that this house only cost 77K and my mortgage is only 300 per month. (There are some advantages to living in a rural area!) So the extra money not being spent in a large mortgage is being spent on a remodel instead of being saved. And the homebuyer tax credit will be spent on the remodel instead of being saved. Grant is all for the remodel because he likes to do that stuff and because he doesn't care how much money we spend on anything. I'm the tightwad around here and my tightwad cells are cringing right now. Of course, we bought so cheaply precisely because we calculated that we could expand our space for less money than buying a larger house. But after moving in I start to think, Hey, this isn't so bad. We can live in a two bedroom house for a few years and save X amount of money! Okay, I know you hydrogen atoms are shocked that I am cramming my family of 7 into a two bedroom house, but that's the addiction I have to saving money! But, this week, we have crossed the point of no return. A wall has been torn out, a structural beam is replacing it, and now we are down to one bedroom and Grant and I are sleeping in the living room. We may, occasionally have a privacy issue with that and so the remodel will go forth. And I will spend the next few months in a constant state of cringe at the money exiting the bank accounts.

But, Grant has given up Coke as a New Year's resolution (again) so I have a partner in misery. At least for a few weeks.

Christams Cards

2009-12-31T09:29:00.000-08:00

Once again my friend Lin Yu Shan proves that a country does not have to celebrate Christmas to sell the coolest Christmas cards. Thanks Shan! I'm cooking the swun gan now and it smells delicious!

These are stickers. They are so cute. I would have died to have stickers like these for my sticker book in grade school.

Lily likes to put them on paper and give a sticker ribbon to the cutest. She says the third from the left won. But I voted for the one with the mail. So she let me be the ultimate judge. You can see his award on his ear.

Violet's card.

I love this one.

I love this one, too. It reminds me of my ornament where Santa is flying in a hot air ballon.

But this is my favorite. It's Lily's.

These are Chinese New Year cards. Is it year of the tiger again already??? It can't be. Rune was born in year of the tiger.

Xin Nian Kwai Le!

Showering is so annoying

2009-12-15T12:57:00.000-08:00

I take 3-4 showers a week and I hate all of them. I hate taking my clothes off and freezing. I hate the parts of me that are not being directly contacted with water being freezing. And I especially hate that moment when I have to turn off the shower and open the curtain. FREEZING. I hate waiting for my hair to dry. I hate blow drying my hair. I can't stand that my only choices are having Violet in the bathroom with me and constantly fighting with her to not pull the curtain out of the shower or else I leave her out of the bathroom and find out later what mischief she has gotten into that I will have to clean. But she's too cute to really be angry at and I usually leave her out of the bathroom because it's too freezing to fight with her about the curtain. It baffles me that anyone can tolerate showering every day.

You know what else I hate. Winter and snow. I hate snow so much now that it actually ruins my Christmas.

Dear Grant,
Next time you are applying for jobs I am begging you to consider all localities that skip winter. Rain is okay. Scorching summers are okay. Chaiyi, Taiwan is more than okay. Snow and sub-freezing temperatures depress me and actually make me perpetually angry. I mean, I know you don't read my blog but in case you ever google 'vasectomy blues' and happen to run into it...
love . . . sally

Moved in

2009-12-04T11:35:00.000-08:00

Sort of. There are boxes everywhere. The Christmas tree was slapped up yesterday only for the kids. It is supremely annoying to have to put up Christmas decorations the same week you are trying to move in. Especially when your husband is working six ten hour days in a location four hours away and only comes home for 24 hours on Sundays and is therefore completely unavailable for help. He may or may not be done by Dec. 18. His supervisor assures him that there is plenty of money to keep the project going in the event that they are unable to finish by the projected finish date of the 18th. Well thank goodness. Nobody needs their dad or husband around during the Christmas season or to help with the unpacking as long as the project keeps going. Priorities, you know.

On the bright side, I'm connected to the internet again. Which is good because I will have to do all Christmas shopping online due to the fact that there is no husband around to watch kids while Christmas shopping gets done. Luckily I can peruse the blogs of my friends and family members whose houses are not in Chaos and whose family members are all present for happy holiday fun. It will be vicarious Christmas cheer for me because I don't have much of it in my house this season!

And by the way, do plumbers and electricians not need work nowadays? Because I cannot get one to call me back. *shrill scream*

Violet is 1

2009-09-25T13:52:00.001-07:00

365 days ago I gave birth to Violet. It was pretty easy and fun. Except for, you know, the last 30 mintues. Then my placenta was so attached to me it just couldn't bear to leave but my uterus was trying its darndest to evict the reluctant placenta. The result being that my impatient uterus was merely forcing voluminous amounts of blood through the tenacious placenta's open vessels. Since this experience I would never be afraid to bleed to death. Minus the painful uterine contractions bleeding to death would be a very tolerable way to die. Just a ringing in the ears and some tunnel vision then...nothing. The only really uncomfortable thing about it (again, minus the painful uterine contractions) was fighting to maintain consciousness. For Grant, who looked scared but stalwart, but mostly for my baby who'd just been born and who I wanted to meet and nurse and coo over. It was many hours (8 to be exact) after her birth before I really had the presence of mind to be her mother and I miss those hours immensly. She has been such a joy since those first moments when I finally got to be with her and I wish that I hadn't missed any of it. I wish I had been able to enjoy her from the first second when her outside body temperature was still the same as my inside body temperature. Here she is a year later with her hair constantly in her eyes and her brothers and sisters constantly adoring her.

I like Zumba

2009-09-21T13:07:00.000-07:00

It's probably been around forever, but I've only recently discovered it. I'm sure I look like a complete dorkwad but it's the most fun I've had exercising in ages!

If you are wondering I will not be posting any videos of myself Zumba-ing on YouTube. Unless I'm wearing my wedding dress with a tube top. Then I will.

P.S. Violet is putting some serious consideration into walking soon.

Did I say we would get a credit card?

2009-09-17T14:13:00.000-07:00

I lied. That's another thing you can't get with an N/A credit score. Unless you want the cards for bad credit that charge $200 annually in fees or the prepaid cards for such people as those who've declared bankruptcy or are 14 years old.

I wonder if Wal-mart will give us a card even?

I'm all for tightening up on passing out loans. Out of control, irresponsible lending is part of what landed us in our present economic depression. I remember back in the day when we bought our other houses and the car it was ridiculously easy to get a loan, too easy. Proving financial responsibility makes sense. However, it is frustrating that it is the credit sharks who control the whole system. If you haven't used their services then you are deemed unworthy of their loans. No other method of proving financial responsibility counts. Well, there's my soapbox. I return to my financially responsible but houseless life.

Did you know

2009-09-16T12:17:00.001-07:00

That if you spent the last 6 years doing fiscally responsible things like staying completely out of debt and saving up to pay for purchases in cash instead of financing or using credit cards that your FICA score will be N/A and it will be next to impossible to get a home mortgage loan? I just found that out.

And all these years Grant and I thought we were being smart about money!

Oh well. I guess we'll go get ourselves a silly credit card and check out what's for rent.

Local ad in Nickel

2009-09-01T11:43:00.000-07:00

FREE, BITING gerbil. Comes with ball, cage and very sharp teeth. Does not necessarily need a good home. Call 789-6942.

This made me laugh today. I thought about getting it because Alma needs some other creature to torture besides his baby sister and this one might teach him a lesson!

Pictures

2009-08-19T18:40:00.000-07:00

We got to see Alvin/Justin/Lin Jye Ting recently. He hangs with the prophets and apostles whenever they need Chinese language services.

These are the orange countertops. Okay, this is just a crappy apartment kitchen, but this color scheme speaks to me. Way more than oak cabinets, neutral countertops and stainless steel appliances. I feel happy cooking in these colors.

The kids like to hot rod Violet around in this doll stroller. Luckily, she likes it, too. Um, don't ask why Alma is naked because I have no clue.

Violet sucking on the hose. Metallically refreshing.

The only thing that would make this picture better would be if Grant had a crack hanging out also.

Vernal, UT

2009-08-17T13:06:00.000-07:00

That's where we are. And fortunately it is not where we will be staying. Nothing really personal against it, but it's just not my kind of place. I like places with lots of trees and greenery. A beach and plenty of humidity are also high up on my list of Perfect Place to Live. Also on the list are a good health food store and a nearby Asian Market. These are also lacking in Vernal. In it's defense the city has these fabulous planter boxes stuffed to overflowing with petunias completely lining the main street. My hat's off to Vernal's city gardener/beautifier.

We went to Church for the first time yesterday and one of the speakers gave a nice long talk about fellowshipping. Lots of quotes by prophets and apostles about the importance of befriending new members. Then sacrament meeting ended and not one person said hello to us or even gave us a second look. Grant and I giggled about it all the way home.

Oh! And the best thing about Vernal is the temple. I had a chance to go Saturday and it was lovely. It's an old tabernacle converted into a temple and very beautiful. And in reality, it's likely that when Grant gets a permanent job it will be in a place that is far worse than Vernal (like Tonapah, NV) and there will come a day when I will be saying to myself "I wish I lived in Vernal).

Stuff

2009-08-14T17:21:00.000-07:00

We are temporarily situated in a two bedroom apartment for the next 3 or so months while Grant finishes up his temp job and looks for a permanent one. Since we are here so temporarily, the only stuff we have is what we could carry in the van and the truck. Everything else is in storage. We are sleeping on the floor, we eat sitting on the floor, we have a frying pan, a wok, a pot and a rice cooker to cook with. We have 8 bowls and 6 glasses, our clothes are in suitcases on the floor and we hang our clothes to dry. It seems that it would be terrible to live so bare bones, but in reality it is very liberating to live simply. The house is a cinch to clean and the dishes take no time at all since there are hardly any of them to begin with. I remember feeling this way in Taiwan also, that it is so nice not to have my life encumbered by a bunch of stuff. It's awesome to have such bare closets and cupboards--no more searching for a spare nook to stick another piece of kitchen gadgetry or a place to hide away some other piece of junk that gets used once in a blue moon. It's great to open up a drawer and not have that nagging feeling like you should really clean it out because at least half of the stuff in it is useless.

And this apartment has taught me one other very surprising thing about myself....I love orange countertops! When I first walked in I automatically cringed at them, but in a kitchen of white floor, white cupboards and white appliances they are the bright, happy accent that just works.

In summary, I will never again feel that I automatically have to pity people that don't have a lot of stuff or people with orange countertops.

P.S. When you have no TV and the barest minimum of toys your kids will suddenly be very interested and excited to go to the library.

Dear Grant

2009-07-06T15:29:00.000-07:00

The kids are having fun. Here they are in their 4th shirts.

I thought you might enjoy a good snicker. This is me posing for senior pictures. In 1991. Those are orange tights, not my leg skin. Just so you know. And that big round circle on my head? That's a hat.

This is my new haircut. Sadly, it seems that even with my orange tights and hideous hat I looked WAY better in 1991.

Here is a picture of me juxtaposed by pictures of Violet in order to assess whether or not we look similar. At any rate we have the same stringy baby hair and long mullet thing in the back.

Look at her sweet feet poking out from her dress. I can't stand the cuteness! However, please ignore my foot ruining the picture.

Eliseo got a mohawk for the summer. It's coming off before school starts, even though he will be homeschooled.

Here is the promised video of Violet pulling herself up. I'm sorry you've had to miss so many cute changes in her.

We miss you.

Love, your family

Nothing to say

2009-06-04T06:57:00.000-07:00

Just trying to get rid of the garbage post because it no longer applies since we are officialy houseless and no longer have the responsibility of a city garbage disposal container.

What to say. Hmmm.

My sister in law Krys said that she only types in one space after periods and that her college professor told her to do that. Is this the new thing? I have a difficult time implementing this but I will try hard if it is the new wave in word processing. I don't want to be the old fart that can't adapt to 21st century.

The other week we were watching the movie The Freedom Writers. I thought it was a great movie and was feeling very inspired and shocked by condition of some of the students lives. The kids were watching with us and Eliseo mentioned that he liked the movie. I asked why and he gave some typical boy answer about "because they fight in the classrom." I felt disappointed and angry about his answer and with my very serious 'mother' look on my face said "You think it's funny that people hate each other?" Rune gravely said "No, it would be funny if Earnest P. Whorl crashed through the middle of the ceiling on a bungee cord." (Obviously, the kids have been watching Earnest movies on Netflix) I haven't laughed so hard since my slook days of college. I'm sure you had to be there, but I found it so funny that I couldn't sleep because I kept laughing. It was so bad that I was snickering all through the prayer that Grant tried to say that night before bed which is funny because that is the exact thing that we are constanly getting angry at Elieso for doing. So Thanks to Rune for the great laugh.

Why do I always forget to put the garbage by the road?

2009-05-06T10:33:00.000-07:00

Because I'm stupid.

For Grandma and Grandpa

2009-04-18T16:44:00.001-07:00

This is just a collection of recent-ish photos that I thought the grandparents would enjoy.

Violet says, "I'm surrounded..and lacking the motor skills to extricate myself!"

Violet says, "You people are just.....rotten!"

I love this one of Violet grabbing Lily's hair. Everyone says they look alike. What do you think?

Violet says, "My sister extraordinaire, she lets me pull her hair."

Violet says, "Hey man, I think you're in my space."

Violet says, "Phhhhtttt."

Shen Bei Bei's Chicken

2009-03-25T14:12:00.000-07:00

Shen Ye Ye sneaking Lily a cookie at church.

Numerous times people have asked for this recipe and I can never answer since I always just throw it together without measuring. But I'm not always fabulous at the 'ol eyeball method and while it usually turns out great, sometimes it...doesn't. So the past couple of times I've tried measuring and have come up with a recipe for:

Shen Bei Bei's chicken

6-7 lbs chicken thighs
1/3 cup soy sauce
3 T sugar
1 T pepper

Throw everything in a bowl (or two) the night before you want to cook it and let set in fridge until the next evening. Place on baking sheets skin side up. Pour over marinade. Bake at 300 for about two hours or until very tender.

Recipe notes:
1. If you find 6-7 lbs of chicken to be a ponderous amount, remember I have 5 kids.
2. Don't even think about using boneless skinless frozen chicken thighs. It would mock Shen Bei Bei's culinary genius. The Shen Bei Bei who makes pumpkin pie filling entirely on the stove top. The Shen Bei Bei who drinks a peanut butter jar of water and does 100 leg kicks every morning. The Shen Bei Bei who faithfully eats 7 pieces of fruit daily. The Shen Bei Bei who despite being nearly blind from macular degeneration, would every Tuesday and Thursday painstakingly cut up fresh fruit and put it in bags then bring it to the courtyard for my kids to eat while they played. The Shen Bei Bei who sings American Christmas songs from the '30s and '40s every ward Christmas party for at least a half hour wearing his purplish/plaidish suit and bowtie. The Shen Bei Bei who is, I believe, the one and only Chinese man of his generation who likes to cook and sew. You see where I am going. This is Shen Bei Bei's chicken. It's simple, yet brilliant and I can just see the look on his face if he was told someone were to use bonesless, skinless chicken in his recipe. So don't do it. Please. However, feel free to frig with the other ingredients as Shen Bei Bei doesn't have set amounts since he really is good at the 'ol eyeball method.
3. This recipe keeps on giving. Pour the chicken oil in a bowl and use it during the week for stir frying and egg frying or for frying whatever it is you like to fry. Scrape up the rest of the junk from the pans (except the stuff that is REALLY stuck), put it a bowl and away in the fridge. The next day heat it up in a pan with the leftover rice and eat it with a fried or soft boiled egg.
4. Soak your pan for at least an hour before you attempt to scrub it.

Shen Bei Bei, Shen Ai Yi, Lin Ma Ma (standing)

P.S. It's possible Eliseo has a booger on the end of his finger.

Feel free to be impressed...I made a quilt!

2009-03-02T13:51:00.000-08:00

I decided if I was going to stay home and call myself a homemaker then I might as well do something homemaker-ish. So I made a quilt.

It looks sort of blue here, but in reality is a solid purple. If you are really impressed by the pattern I, sadly, cannot take the credit. Grant was the mastermind there.

Detail of the binding

I lied. I didn't make a quilt to elevate myself to talented homemaker status. I did it because a really talented person in my ward made the below quilt for Violet and gave it to me at my baby shower. I love it so much that I just had to have one for myself, in my favorite color..purple. And since I thought that my talented friend probably wouldn't super want to make one for me I figured I'd have to do it myself. My motives were purely selfish.

Isn't this quilt awesome? If it had a Hello Kitty on it somewhere it would be the pinnacle of my girlish dreams for Violet. And the binding! I would never think of something so clever.

Am I going to become.....A QUILTER???? I don't know. It was pretty fun, kind of tedious, fairly expensive (like $80!), all in all a good experience but I think I'll mostly stick to projects that can be done in an afternoon. Like this.

A dress for Violet made from the leftovers.

TV show vent

2009-02-19T10:06:00.000-08:00

We don't have cable and generally don't miss it, although it does mean that we are horribly behind media-wise. I mostly have no idea what people are talking about when they discuss the latest shows. It's occasionally embarrassing.

Then we signed up for Netflix and have been having fun renting movies that everyone on the planet has seen except for us (because they came out at least 5 years ago) and watching fun things on instant play like Scooby Doo movies and old Dr. Who episodes. Then we had the brilliant idea that maybe we will watch one of those TV series that everyone seemed to love and we would no longer be the freaks that don't even know what is playing on TV. So we started watching Heroes. And to tell the honest, embarrassing truth, I didn't even know the show existed until a week ago. Four episodes later and I'm torn. The story line is very interesting....BUT here is a list of the character vices I've noticed so far:

1. Violence
2. Murder
3. Rape
4. Underage drinking
5. Purposeful drug abuse
6. Fornication
7. Adultery
8. Internet "soft" porn

Could they have packed any more sensationalistic depravity and debauchery into FOUR EPISODES??? It's bordering on ridiculous. I mean, has our culture slipped so far that an engaging plot of ordinary people discovering they have super powers is no longer sufficiently interesting? We need all of the above listed items to hold our attention? Apparently so. Good grief. I guess this is why I gave up TV in the first place and I'll have to go back to my old TV show inexperienced ways. Sigh.

FHE poetry

2009-02-09T20:28:00.000-08:00

This was FHE tonight. We were attempting to pass off one of the talent portions in the Faith in God booklet. Here it is, unadulterated, all punctuation and spelling exactly as written.

Rune:

David slew a lion, with a little knife,
he was surprised with such a sight
with very little strife,
he went to war, to fight till sore,
but 'ol goliath stopped them,
so the army needed more,
David went right up and let that slingshot fly,
and then when the rock fell off, it was a red bullseye.

Eliseo: (spelling and punctuation are not his strong point)

The gold plats are so vary golde.
my eys wer rolen. I'v neve-
r sene plats of gold. I neve-
r sold the gold plat's. the ange-
l Maroni bared the gold pla-
ts. in the hill of camora.

Lily: (This poem was a collaboration. Lily gave me a line and then the rhyming word of the next line and I would provide the bulk of the second line. All Lily's contribution will be in red.)

They ate the tree of knowledge of good and evil,
They were no longer as dumb as weevils.
They were naked in the Garden of Eden,
It was a place that didn't need weedin'.
Satan told a lie.
We all know why.
He wanted them to die.
They went out of the Garden of Eden,
To a place that did need weedin'.

Winter etc.

2009-01-20T10:44:00.000-08:00

I'm sure the whole of Internetdom knows by now how much I hate/loathe/abhor/detest/despise etc. etc. (my mental thesaurus ran out) winter, but it does make for some cute pictures of the kids. Don't get me wrong, I would trade cute winter pictures of the kids in a second for cute beach pictures, a tree ripened mango and some coconut water.

I don't know, I don't think I would trade even 80 degrees and a mango for this picture. Except, could someone please photoshop out the dried boogers?

Grant caught a 20 inch trout. We smoked it. He also likes to chew tuh-backer. Not really, it's sunflower seeds. He's addicted.

This is Violet nowadays. She defines adorable.

I'm just posting this picture because it will mortify Grant. I don't know why.

Better Late Than Never

2009-01-05T17:03:00.000-08:00

is almost never my motto--except when it comes to finally posting Christmas morning pictures in January. Oh, and sending out Christmas cards--I still might do this under the guise of Happy New Year cards.

The Tree

The Stockings
(the reason they are so cute is because my mom made them)

The Morning...

Kung Fu Panda

Plastic Cowboys and Indians stocking stuffer

The DS

The Educational Computer Game
(or ECG for short)

The Omnitrix
(I don't know what it is either..something to do with aliens.)

The Rolling Monkey

The Carnage

Christmas Chronicles Continue

2008-12-31T16:27:00.000-08:00

Because it was so much fun I took pictures of more ornaments, some Christmas cards and my tree skirt.

I beaded 18 of these gold snowflake things around my tree skirt. I don't know why I get myself into these things.

Here's another clip on bird

Taiwan has the coolest Christmas cards. The two following are detail of a card full of Santas eating hot pot and singing karaoke.

These Christmas cards are from our friend Shan who sends us really cool cards every year.

This one has a mini 12 month calendar.

A pretty pink Christmas tree.

A fun church with a bell. Notice it can actually be hung on the tree.

This one is just classy.

Here's a star I made when I was like four years old or something. It's made of cardboard, aluminum foil, glitter and yarn. And it still persists after 30+ years.

More toothpick ornaments.

This one is looking at Bethlehem's skyline through a window. I know, the realism is astounding.

This ornament belongs to a full set of cartoonish Christmas pictures drawn by our friends' (then) 10 year old boy when we were in Taiwan and didn't have any ornaments for our poor little bare tree (these and the origami birds constituted our tree that year). He's pretty dang talented, huh?

My visiting teacher gave me this one last year. It's made of olive wood.

Okay, okay, I won't post anymore pictures of my ornaments. Anyway, they are all put away. Oh, and by the way, Happy New Year. Here's hoping this is the year I get to move back to Taiwan. Yeah, I know, fat chance.

This picture has nothing to do with ornaments. It's just goofy.

Um...I wasn't done

2008-12-23T00:35:00.000-08:00

Tip: Pressing control P does not paste your pictures, it automatically publishes your post, whether you are done with it or not.

Here's what I have to say about the rest of the pictures.

These cute snowflakes were tatted by a woman in Grant's home ward and given to us one of the first Christmases we were married. There are various colors. I had no idea that tatting even existed until I received these. I now know that tatting exists, I still have no idea how it's done and what implements are used????

The following two ornaments were crafted when we lived in Taiwan and didn't have my large box of childhood ornaments to decorate our tree with. The origami birds were made the Christmas I was pregnant with Rune and they always remind me of how insanely happy I was that Christmas. The toothpick Star of David reminds me of several Christmases later when I was trying to have a fun crafty Christmas activity with the boys to decorate our tree and a one year old Lily was in the way of everything and destroyed half of what we did.

Lately, Lily and I have been into making these stuffed ornaments. I don't really know why, they aren't really that cool. At any rate we have around 7 of them on the tree.

For the kids' 2008 ornaments I bought these cool birds at JC Penny. They clip onto the tree and appear to be perched. They are my new favorite.

Ornaments through the ages

2008-12-23T00:18:00.000-08:00

Here's a small sampling of what's on our tree. The pictures are pretty fuzzy. I still think they look better fuzzy than flashed.

First, a few faves from childhood.

I think I made this Santa in primary? Mom, can you remember? I think he's simple yet surprisingly Santa looking.

This seemingly naked, snowflake carrying fairy with a ponytail was my absolute favorite for many years. She's iridescent.

I have no idea why Santa would be riding in a hot air balloon instead of his sleigh, but I loved this ornament.

It happened.

2008-12-16T10:02:00.000-08:00

*sigh*

I miss Taiwan.

Various and Sundry

2008-12-06T22:20:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I last posted and too much has happened to be specific so here are a few highlights of the past month.

First and Foremost...you know that Japanese straightening perm I mentioned before? The one I used to get in Taiwan and am in love with? The one that fancy schmancy American hair stylists charge $500 (!) for? Well, notice my hair in the below pictures. This is my hair after just a touch of blow drying and no straightening with an iron. I repeat . . . no straightening iron was involved! I found the straightening perm on the internet and bought it for $65 and my sister Eileen who has NO BEAUTICIAN EXPERIENCE (gasp) performed the procedure. So, sorry to all you fancy schmancy beauticians out there who insist that the Japanese straightening perm is akin to rocket science and can't possibly be done by the lay person and most certainly cannot be done for less than $500....well....it can. Just admit it, you charge $500 because you can. I'm okay with that. And I forgive all of you because now I can do it myself (okay, my sister can do it herself) and sure, you could probably do a better job, but not $435 dollars better.

Grandpa and Violet at the wedding.

Lily the flower girl and Brianne the beautiful bride.

Me and my hunk (who has lost 45 lbs. since July!)

Violet looking mighty suspicious.

Thanksgiving with the relatives. Grant standing in the kitchen to look helpful, but not actually doing anything.

Felipe and Violet. She looks more like his daughter than mine.

Alma and Helaman pretending it's still Halloween.

Me on the job.

Violet's gorgeous baby blessing outfit sewn by my mom.

The boys showing off.

Grandma and Violet (who is sporting yet another amazing dress sewn Grandma).

And in the middle of all this activity we somehow found the time to make paper hats.

Eliseo and Dad at Elie's baptism.

Whew! It was a fun month of visiting family and I'm sad it's over. At least there is Christmas to cheer me up. Or depress me, depending on which angle I view it from.

The Prizefighter

2008-11-07T18:17:00.000-08:00

If she was a prizefighter this is what Lily would look like:

Taiwan, two years old.

Yesterday

But she's too sweet to be a fighter. She was just running on the playground at school and fell down. She just about broke her bottom lip off, it was hanging down grotesquely. Too bad I don't have a pic of that, huh? It's too bad she didn't do this last week and she could have been Frankenstein's daughter for Halloween.

Rune wants to be sure to mention that you could clearly see her meat.

My fellow Americans

2008-11-05T15:36:00.001-08:00

Okay, this post is really to post the kids Halloween pics, so the title is totally inappropriate. I just wanted to say it because I feel so happily patriotic today. A way I haven't felt since that stinker Clinton lied under oath! I also admit to having an ulterior motive for feeling happy today. I've been looking forward to the 2008 election for a long time because regardless of who won I was hoping that my husband could finally get over his ridiculously misguided and obsessive angst toward our poor President Bush. I don't know, though, Grant might actually need some therapy!

Anyhoo, here are the pics:

Eliseo had a scary mask, but it turns out masks are not allowed at school or at Trunk or Treat so he came up with this last minute.

My mom made this cute duck costume when Rune was two. I love recycling Halloween costumes!

Rune is a dark side Jedi. I made this costume. I almost didn't, but he wanted it so much I finally did. Luckily it was one of those 2 hr patterns. He does have some sweet Jedi moves.

This costume shows just how pathetic I was this year. A sheet with eyes cut out? How embarrassing! And I totally had Lily convinced it was ultra cool.

No, I didn't dress Violet up. But she does a pretty good monkey impression on her own. Check out the hair on her arms and back!

I'm pleased...

2008-11-05T09:02:00.000-08:00

with the new president. I'm not going to go politics here because I know that most of my friends, family and neighbors have different political views than mine and are probably disappointed today and I love you guys more than I love my opinions. But I can't help saying that today is a happy day for me and I look forward to a future of peace, not war, prosperity for the majority, not the few, and healthcare for everyone! Okay, maybe America is not ready for the last just yet......someday.

More jokes from Rune

2008-11-01T17:03:00.000-07:00

Here are the latest:

From what magazine can you buy stuff for cats?
A cat-alog.

What does a rat who plays basketball like to eat?
Swish cheese.

pet peeve---American tuna fish

2008-10-27T07:21:00.000-07:00

What is up with the tuna around here? In Taiwan they still sold tuna that was actually composed of cohesive chunks of meat. When I was a kid American tuna was composed of actual chunks of meat. Now the tuna fish is so pulverized and mashed that it cannot be extracted from the water in the can and you have no choice but to eat extremely watery tuna fish. Or squish half the fish from the can in an attempt to get the water out. Or buy really expensive and mercury laden albacore tuna. Or to stop eating tuna fish which is what I've mostly done. Sigh.

More pics

2008-10-17T07:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm (mostly) done feeling sorry for myself because I only get to have five children. Boo Hoo, Waaa for me, right? The first three weeks are always the hardest for me and I'm at three weeks one day so I'm ready to join the human race again. I have a special post for the slooks, hopefully to be coming soon, but I confess that in addition to not usually being able to do much at the computer because I'm always holding Violet, I have also discovered that I have no idea how to use my scanner and every picture I scan turns out tiny and I don't know how to fix it. I wish I had Kristie's computer know how. I know you all thought I was smart just because I got straight A's in college, but I don't have a clue how to work my scanner, okay. Anyway, I do know how to use my digital camera and I'm going to post some more pics of Violet just so you don't have to come to my blog and be depressed by my poem anymore!

If you look closely maybe you can see her hairy werewolf ears. And Grant says he is jealous of her sideburns.

The intelligent look.

The not so intelligent look.

I like this picture because Grant looks like such a hick hunter with this hat. What you don't know is that Sam bought this hat in Taiwan where no one hunts because they can't and that in small letters under the "HUNT" it says "for knowledge".

Then there is the angelic sleeper picture..

And, of course, the adoring mom picture.

Vasectomy Blues

2008-10-07T12:17:00.000-07:00

Grant had a vasectomy Friday and although he is convalescing well enough, I wasn't prepared for my own emotional response. Instead of regaling you with a long prosy paragraph I thought I would try my hand at poetry. Tell me what you think (e.g. um...Sally, you should stick to prose.).

Oh! Those postpartem hormones
That cause me to bemoan
The end of something I hated.

Suddenly I feel
The end is too real
Even though the end was much wished for.

I know there is reason
For the passing of seasons
Though the passing may cause us great sorrow.

Could I suffer again
To let new life begin?
I can't, but wish that I could.

More Violet Pics

2008-10-02T09:23:00.000-07:00

She's already a week old. The first few weeks are so hard, what with the hormones and the crazy scheduling, not to mention four other kids to take care of. But they go too fast at the same time. That brand new stage is so fleeting and it feels especially bittersweet this time because I know a newborn will not pass through our house again. So I've been taking pictures like she was my first and here are a few.

Eye color is still up in the air

The happy big brother

P.S.

2008-09-27T21:18:00.001-07:00

She was born Sept. 25th.

Okay, this time I DID have the baby.

2008-09-27T15:48:00.000-07:00

But I am not back on the beach in my old swimsuit. I actually look like the above picture. The swelling is the result of severe blood loss, and this was two days after the fact so you are spared the really scary swelling. The short version about the birth is that if I was a pioneer woman on the plains I probably would have died. The long version is that I had a retained placenta, lots of blood loss, a blood transfusion and emergency surgery to scrape out the rest of the placenta about 7 hours after the birth. The birth went fine (no drugs), the exciting part was afterwards. Exciting is not really the word, more like really scary and on my part very painful. So, this is it for my baby having. I've always bled too much after birth but this was out of control and I've been strongly advised against getting pregnant again. But it's okay because I knew that the moment I found out I was pregnant. I had a premonition this whole pregnancy that something was wrong or that there was potential for something to be very wrong. I'd never talked about it with anyone because I was so afraid it was going to be the baby. Thankfully, it wasn't the baby, it was me. And I'm okay now, or I will be when I can get my anemia under control. And in the end we have a gorgeous baby girl.

Back of the head shot of her lovely hair

Oh! Would you like to know her name?
Violet Anabelle Smith
7'15"
18" long

Too sweet

I had the baby yesterday..

2008-09-23T12:17:00.000-07:00

and now today I am back in my old swimsuit and lounging on the beach. Here is proof.

Sally without a ginormous belly lounging on the beach.

What? You don't believe me? Fine, I'm just pretending. But it's my birthday and the reality is that I am going to spend the day gimping around my house feeling like my hips are going to fall out of their sockets and there is nothing my husband or kids can do to make me feel better. So I'd just like to indulge myself and gaze at this picture and fantasize that someday I will again be able to pull my legs up and rest my chin on my knees.

The unfashionable show

2008-09-20T13:11:00.000-07:00

About 3 weeks ago

Here are the promised late pregnancy pictures. Rune took the latest one (just today) and thankfully cut off my head.

today

Really, it's impossible not to look ridiculous at this stage in pregnancy. And thankfully, it's difficult to even care. Thus the mismatched shoes in the first picture.

But there is good news. I had external version attempted last week and the baby that was breech is no longer breech. Unless there is another flip I will be spared the final injustice of a c-section. My friend said, "Wow, I've heard that they can massage the baby into place." Well, I wouldn't use the word 'massage.' It was quite a bit more...violent than that, but I'm sure it beats recovery from a cesarean . It is not usually a super successful procedure, but the doc said that since this is my fifth pregnancy that my uterus and abs are "looser" making the version easier. Well, up to that point I hadn't considered my flabby abs an asset but they worked for me that day.

Anyhow, I'm at that point where my due date gets closer but impossible to reach at the same time. Just like dividing a number by half over and over. You will get closer and closer to zero but never actually reach it. If this pregnancy is lucky enough to mimic Lily's then I will be done in 4 days. If I am unlucky enough to follow in Eileen's footsteps I will be pregnant for another month. *shudder* At this point sleeping is so painful that it feels I am actually doing harm to my body by trying to lay down and rest rather than something beneficial. I took a walk this morning and there was an older woman on my same route and she wasted me. Alma comes to sit on my lap and must feel that he is not properly situated and repeatedly slams back into my belly trying to get closer. And finally, that phenomenon called nesting does not and never has existed for me. I look at my messy house and visualize all the bending involved in cleaning it up and just cannot do it. Don't get me wrong, I have a desire to clean up, just a desire for someone else to do it. BTW, Grant and the kids actually help out quite a bit in this area. Grant, willingly, the kids not so willingly but they are learning valuable life lessons on work ethic.

Is anyone..

2008-09-01T15:23:00.001-07:00

sick of me writing posts and including zero pictures? I will tell you the reason. Our computer tower resides on the floor, not on the computer desk. This means to transfer pictures from the digital camera to the hard drive I have to actually *gasp* BEND OVER. I loathe to bend over. I avoid it at ALL costs. This is not an excuse. This is the actual reason I have not posted any pictures. The pressure in my abdomen cannot take the pressure increase caused by bending over. And for that fact, neither can my thoracic cavity, bending over means I can't breathe. Bending over compresses my stomach, this equals nausea. Bending over displaces my xiphoid process, this equals pain. Bending over compresses my bladder, this equals an urge to micturate. (My recently completed Human Anatomy class has been very useful when it comes to describing my pregnancy complaints). I have a recent picture of myself to show all you friends and family members so you can enjoy the unlovliness of my last weeks of pregnancy but you will have to wait until I can get Grant to download the pictures!

Baby widget thigie

2008-08-21T18:10:00.000-07:00

I finally added the Babystrology widget because the time is now finally short enough that I can bear to see how many days I have left. Previously it was just way too many days and it was too depressing to visit my blog and be reminded of all the time I had left. I really, really wish that I could just enjoy these last few weeks of my last pregnancy. I'm trying, really I try.

Pet Peeves

2008-08-20T14:05:00.000-07:00

1. Computer games at the library.
Why do libraries have computers with kids games??!!?? I spend enough time at home trying to pry my kids off computers and convince them to do something else that actually uses brain cells or muscles. I can't stand it that I have to fight with them at the library to pay attention to the BOOKS and to stop looking sideways at the computer. I don't care if they are "educational" games, the library should be about BOOKS, for crying out loud! I have hereby banished ANY computer playing at the library, it's much easier this way.

2. Breech babies.
Which mine is, dangit.

I'm back.....briefly

2008-08-04T08:37:00.000-07:00

We just got back from our 6 weeks in Oregon. It was a great time, but I never posted because a) my parent's computer was a lot slower than mine and I couldn't deal with the wait and b) we were just having too much fun to bother with the computer. And now that I am back I need to study like a maniac to complete my BYU Independent Study course in Human Anatomy before the deadline of August 28. So I probably won't be around much before that date. But you never know, so keep checking in.

Glucost Tolerance Test

2008-06-19T10:15:00.000-07:00

I'm 24 weeks now and had to take the GTT this morning which consisted of eating 48 jelly beans on an empty stomach. Now, I never eat candy so I thought this might be kind of fun to enjoy some jelly bellys. I started out eating one at a time and quickly realized I would never get them all down in the allotted 5-10 minute time frame at that rate. I tried to speed it up but even after much diligence and will power it took me over 15 minutes to finish them. My teeth were stinging, my mouth was coated--I never thought eating jelly beans could be so awful. Next time I will take the sugar drink instead. Wait, there will NOT EVER be a next time. Woo hoo! I sincerely apologize for my glib attitude about my pregnancy to any who are having troubles conceiving at this time. I do know how it is. My first was conceived by IVF and I distinctly remember how it feels to be infertile. I am so grateful for my kids and the chance I have to raise them (although I am doing a CRAPPY job of it right now) but I would be lying if I said I wasn't grateful to be done. It's been a blessing for me to experience both sides of the coin because I am better able to empathize with more women. I find because of my experience with infertility I appreciate my kids (and kids in general) more, I take them for granted less and I wouldn't dream of judging a woman who finds it hard to be excited about another's pregnancy. But my experience with trying to raise so many young children and suffering pregnancy that IS a sickness has made me so much less judgemental about the way other people raise their kids. I wouldn't dream of judging a mother whose kids are ratty haired and snotty nosed and whose house is "disorderly." Both of those women are me.

I don't know how I started talking about jelly beans and ended up soliloquizing about my life's experiences. It's probably because I am avoiding my duties for the day due to the fact that the jelly bean episode has left me feeling really nauseous and the fact that I have to change the oil in the van, go to a midwife appt., and wash and pack all of our clothes for the trip we are taking to Oregon tomorrow. It's so much easier to sink into random inner thoughts than to deal with my real life.

My handsome men

2008-06-14T13:29:00.000-07:00

Grant's brother was married today. Grant was...somebody...I don't really know the proper terms and such for civil marriages (he wasn't best man), but at any rate he got to wear a tux. Rune was ring bearer and also wore a tux. And, man, did they look sharp. Here are a few pictures:

A seriously handsome kid.

Rune and his cousin, the flower girl.

Grant and Rune looking suai ge.

Get ready to be shocked, I made this dress.

The wedding bubbles are always a big hit.

My mother made the sailor suit.

I know it was his brother's wedding day and all, but I only had eyes for this man. He was the most handsome male at the party by far. The last time I saw Grant in a tux was on our wedding day and seeing him in one again...well, I'm thinking about having another wedding night!

Birthday cake success

2008-06-04T20:20:00.001-07:00

Lily turned five on Saturday and we had a very small party to which two friends showed up. I attempted to create a doll cake like the ones that we always had Mom make when we were kids and it turned out not bad. Due mostly to the fact that the doll had a painted on top so I didn't have to try to create one out of frosting and she had a little fairy skirt that adequately hid the fact that she was slightly too tall for her cake "skirt" plus eliminated my having to do something cute at the cake/doll interface. I just piped some stars around the bottom and then let the kids press on some sprinkles. Then, because the doll had a little sidekick, and because Lily declared that the sidekick needed a cake, too, I made another one. Luckily, a cousin and several neighborhood kids helped out eating all the cake. Then, I froze a bunch meaning to save it for some FHE in the future, and we ate it the next day. This is precisely why I never make home baked desserts, I have no willpower. That is to say, I have the willpower not to bake them or buy them in the first place, but once they are baked and on my counter, that's it. Unfortunately, I ate too much and my poor, weak, nauseated stomach has been getting back at me since.

watermelon

2008-06-01T21:30:00.000-07:00

I can't tell you how much I loathe and despise winter and how utterly happy I am that summer is here. I'm so happy that I've bought watermelon 3 or 4 times already. I rationalize that Mexico isn't THAT far from New Mexico and that I will buy the ones from Texas as soon as they are available. In the meantime I am happily stuffing myself with watermelon even though it drastically increases my trips to the bathroom even above and beyond the normal million trips I take due to the large growth in my abdomen. The kids love it, too.

Alma seems to get especially excited. Notice his face in this picture taken last year of the kids eating watermelon.

Isn't it said that if you swallow watermelon seeds you will grow one in your stomach? Well, it appears to be true in my case, but I'm not posting any pictures of that.

Atavistic Traits

2008-05-16T07:22:00.000-07:00

Isn't that the term for such things as an extra set of nipples or an extra long coccyx that show up in humans every once in a while? Traits that show our genetic similarity to other mammals? (Those who have been out of college for fewer years than I have may need to correct me). Well, our goat Princess had her babies yesterday and by some stroke of timing I was able to see her birth one of them. And let me tell you, I sure wish effortlessly popping out a baby in about 15 seconds was one of those traits that humans share with other mammals. However, I remain thankful that we lack other mammalian motherly instincts such as eating the afterbirth.

Here is Princess and her two babies. The black one is a girl and the brown one a boy. I am a confessed non-animal lover but baby goats....well, they're adorable.

We raised Princess from a baby. (Along with her brother Gecko but we ate him months ago). So it's been fun to watch her grow up and..sniff...become a mommy.
You should see Grant coo over these goats, especially the black one. He's like a 7 year old girl with a kitten.

Joke

2008-05-14T09:07:00.000-07:00

Rune made up this joke: What kind of car does a booger drive?
A 'snot'omobile.

It's such a clever joke that I'm sure it must have been thought of before but it doesn't negate the fact that he came up with it all on his own!

Sheep Shearing

2008-05-12T08:49:00.000-07:00

If I was really country I would say Sheep Shearin' but there is no use pretending. Anyone who saw my garden last year would know how inept I am at farming skills. They are worse than Napolean's shading skills. My chickens haven't even laid eggs for 3 days now. Not only that, after so many years teaching English in Taiwan poor grammar grates on my nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard. Anyhow, we had a great time Saturday helping some friends shear a few of their sheep. Well, Grant had a great time doing that while I had a great time chatting with Sara(h?) and standing around with the camera taking pictures. And the kids had a great time jumping on the tramp and playing with pieces of poo off the ground.

The sheep are quite calm once they are forced down. That's Sara in the background with her cute pregnant belly. I haven't yet reached the cute belly stage. I'm still in the throes of the "Gee, doesn't Sally look kind of fat recently?" stage. And look! Grant gets to use his new overalls for a real purpose.

Grant really is shearing here and not just performing anal surgery.

What is it with men and forgetting to apply sunscreen?

Up close and personal.

The wool under these sheep was gorgeous. Sara cleans it up, spins it herself and knits the most amazing and beautiful things. She also makes awesome gouda cheese. Some people have all the talent. Oh, and for some reason it looks in these pictures like Grant did all the shearing but really Nate did most of it.

Lily's hair usually looks pretty much like this even when she isn't jumping on a trampoline.

And don't forget this cute little guy.

Japanese Straightening Perm

2008-05-07T08:48:00.001-07:00

Grant was quite angry with me for posting the picture of his little nap the other day. So in the spirit of apology I will post an icky picture of me (this is not hard to do). I'm also using the opportunity to vent about something that bothers me at least every third day.

This is me after a shower.

Notice my hair. It's poofy and weird. Genetically I got a lot of great things from Mom and Dad. From Mom I'm very thankful that I get practically zero stretch marks from pregnancy. From Dad I'm happy to claim a naturally slim figure. But, you guys, you really failed me in the hair arena. It's not a lovely straight like Eileen's and Andrew's. It doesn't have a lovely curl like Rachel's. It's frizzy and poofy with strange and unattractive angles. I've hated my hair with undying passion for at least 15 years.

This is me after spending 10 mintues with a straightening iron. Notice how much better my hair looks and how much happier I am.

But my happiness is marred by those 10 mintues. Say I take a shower every third day , that's 122 showers per year (rounded up, you know, in case I get a wild hair and take a shower after only 2 days once a year). That's 122 dates with my straightening iron which amounts to 1220 mintues a year. That, people, is over 20 hours! And it's even more if I have to add in blow drying time. And, what if I wanted to go swimming spontaneously? I have to live with the dread of everyone seeing my hair after it dries. This is all unnecessary agony. In Taiwan I discovered the Japanese Straightening Perm. Wu Jung Li Tang in Mandarin. For about 3 blissful years I revelled in poker straight hair straight from the shower. Spontaneous swims? No problem! Sweat? No problem. A water fight while washing the car? No problem! Sadly, after 2 years in the States my hair has grown back out into it's natural frizzy poofiness. And I'm back to hating my hair and being one of those girls that squeal, "Ooooo! Don't get my hair wet!" Japanese Straightening Perms are available in the US. For FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!! In Taiwan, at my length of hair it would cost about US$80. C'mon, the economies are not that different! I've been told by hair dressers here and it's said on the internet that it's a very specialized procedure, time consuming, it takes skills etc, etc. They apparently feel they deserve every penny of that $500 (which amounts to over $150/hr if the procedure takes about 3 hours). I'm sorry, but I beg to differ. I've had the procedure done multiple times and there is one part that needs the special skills of the hairdresser. He or she must check the hair during the "relaxing" portion to assess if the hair is 'done' enough. I appreciate this skill very, very much. I love hairdressers forever for knowing this skill and giving me straight, silky hair. But it is not neuroscience. The rest of the procedure involves hair washing and rinsing, blow drying, straightening with an iron, glooping stuff onto hair and sticking it under a heat lamp. In Taiwan the salons hired just-out-of-high school kids to do the hair washing, glooping, blow drying and working the irons parts. The hair dresser took care of the checking of the hair during certain key times when the gloop was on the hair and the haircut afterwards. They would also help with the other chores if they weren't otherwise engaged. The hairdressers would have multiple perms going on at a time and do some cuts in the down time. I'm begging the hairdressers of America to make the Japanese Straightening Perm available to the masses and not just to movie stars and the uber rich. Have pity on us poor frizzy haired people. Give us the Perm for a decent price and we will flock to you in droves. You will become rich beyond compare. Okay, maybe not, but you will be loved and honored by clients galore and you definitely won't be any poorer!

This post is for Shan

2008-05-02T07:01:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's taken me so long. I still need to get a picture of myself in my jacket, but here are the pictures of Lily and few more just for fun.

Notice that Grant's bottom is not even on the sofa for this little snooze.

Nothing to say

2008-04-17T19:10:00.000-07:00

I have nothing to post about except this question that has been plaguing me all day. How does one get the motivation to constantly put laundry away? Some household chores MUST be done, like the dishes, or washing the clothes. Those chores I have no problem with. In fact, I can't go to bed unless they are done because I can't stand the thought of having to start my day with yesterday's must be done chores. But putting away laundry? It's just too easy to put off. I mean, a clean shirt off the floor is pretty much the same as a clean shirt out of the drawer (especially if you just shove clothes into drawers without folding like I usually do) so it doesn't really NEED to be done and therefore I hardly ever do it. There is just something supremely annoying about folding, sorting and putting away laundry. You try to condense the piles but there are always too many miscellaneous piles, like the the unmatched socks pile, or the rag pile, the clothes that must be hung up pile etc. And going back and forth to all the various nooks and crannies of the house putting everything away, I just can't stand it. And yet, I also can't stand piles of clean laundry around the house. It just screams A Worthless Homemaker Lives Here. Even though I generally cook nutritious food, keep the dishes clean, keep the floors swept and vacuumed and even get to the bathroom about once a week (to clean it, I get there a lot more often to urinate) I just cannot stay on top of the laundry. The piles are always there mocking me, telling me that my house looks like a pigsty even though I've done a bunch of other cleaning. It's constantly eating away at my self-esteem. There is a fresh pile right now on the couch, it's telling me "You should have put me away instead of writing this ridiculous blog post."

Alma's teeth

2008-04-11T07:31:00.000-07:00

You'd hope genetics would give the poor kid a break.

A truly horrendous week

2008-04-06T08:03:00.000-07:00

As previously reported last Monday was momentous first day of me taking responsibility for myself and my family again. I didn't feel great, but I felt determined. By Wednesday I'd survived making dinner 3 times, and was able to take a long walk with Grant. I had the feeling that Yes, perhaps I could make it through this pregnancy. That evening Rune got sick, cried for a long time, then threw up. We went to bed. Two hours later we wake up to hear the baby puking all over in his crib. I gingerly gather up the big pile of bedding and throw it on the floor. I change Alma into new clothes but can't bring myself the deal with the vomit in his hair and just pull his pajama's hood over his head. Alma is in bed with us and wakes up every half hour or so to throw up. We use every towel in the house and keep adding to the pile on the floor. During one of these episodes we hear Rune suddenly wake up and vomit all over his bed. Grant gets to deal with that one. My weak stomach is torturing me now and I'm desperately trying to find a happy place in my mind. I'm terrified of catching this bug myself and fatalistically know I will. In the morning Alma begins to have diarrhea, but I can't worry about that because I am vomiting now and I am emotionally unable to deal with this. I desperately get the kids in the car to head back to Carolyn's (my MIL) house. I vomit once more in the driveway which the chicken happily eat. Once there I sit in my usual chair and stare bleakly at my surroundings and cry hopelessly for the rest of the day. The virus nausea is made worse by eating and the pregnancy nausea is made worse by not eating. The psychological impact of contracting the stomach flu at that point are devastating and I am too embarrassed to admit some of the thoughts that went through my head that day. At 4 pm I try to eat a few bites of burrito and sip some water and decide it's no use and give up eating. I finally go to bed and sob myself to sleep while Grant sympathetically strokes my hair. The next two days are a bit better, but the damage to my stomach has been done and I'm afraid it will be a while before I recover. Alma continues to have diarrhea and begins to vomit again on Friday. By Friday evening Grant and Carolyn are now sick. We are all weakly trying to take care of the kids. Saturday is bit better for me, I'm able to eat some sandwich and manage to watch conference and take Rune to his soccer game. Alma finally seems to be perking up. Saturday night (last night) we go to bed hoping for a better day. Alma wakes up in the middle of the night fussing and fussing. He seems tired but just can't go to sleep. We sing songs and I recite the two poems I know by heart (Winken Blinken and Nod and The Night Before Christmas). He finally drops into a fitful sleep and wakes again at 6:30 fussing. He climbs out of our bed and walks to the kitchen when he continues to cry. Suddenly, in a moment of epiphany I realize that no one fed him dinner and I can't recall anyone feeding him lunch either. He was starving! My motherly instincts finally kick in again and I want to cry for my poor little starving guy. I grab him a banana and feed it to him in bed. He devours it and falls asleep while chewing and sleeps angelically until 8:30. Please let this week be better!

A Good Day

2008-03-31T13:02:00.000-07:00

So far. I got up this morning and fixed breakfast for Grant, myself and the kids. Eggs, of course, since we are swimming in them. I changed a dirty diaper. I made sandwiches for lunch and even did the dishes. All of this with no help. A major turning point and I feel really proud of myself. I've enjoyed the day with my kids and feel like I am seeing them again after a long absence. I looked at my blog and saw that I got one comment on my last post. Thank you, Julie, for not completely giving up on me and checking my blog again! Maybe soon I will graduate to posting pictures again. The best part of today was looking out the window and what did I see? Blossoms popping on the apricot tree. It seems poetic and poignant to me that the awakening of spring is coinciding with my emergence from the dark place I have been. Oh, and if I seem to be waxing literary lately, (poorly, I'm sure!) it is because I have been reading War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy and the Russian authors always have that effect of me. Hopefully I will finish the book in a week or so and it will pass!

There's nothing like six weeks of relentless suffering

2008-03-23T08:26:00.000-07:00

to make one think differently and a little more deeply about the atonement and resurrection. After enduring my own private little hell which has left me skinny and shaken in body, mind and spirit I find it difficult to contemplate other suffering in the world. One of the things that have occupied my mind lately is Africa. The reports from Darfur and Sudan make me physically ill. The stories of rape and murder, starvation and deprivation. The mothers and fathers that were forced to watch as the janjaweed threw their little children into boiling water. Over 200,000 dead in that area from that conflict. There is the Middle East. How is such hatred and rage possible? What evil and secret combinations are underfoot when the world decides it needs to interfere in the oil rich nation of Iraq but leaves the blood and genocide of Darfur alone? What of my own country, America, where teenagers are so desperate to feel something real that they create death and violence to make their lives feel important? If only every person on the planet knew how important their lives are to God. If only they knew each and every one of them is so important that Jesus Christ took upon himself all this suffering so that they need not suffer if they turn to him. All of the ghastly suffering humans have inflicted on each other through the years atoned for. Jesus said, "It is finished." and on the third day he took up his own body and arose from the dead. The darkness and hell on this earth, created by sin and death, overcome. I want to say with Enos, "Lord, how is it done?"

Hello everyone

2008-03-22T10:09:00.000-07:00

I'm not completely better yet, but I may be ready to join the world again. Here is a glimpse into my life.

Things That Make Me Feel Sick
1. The smell of ANYTHING.
2. Taking a shower
3. Holding my kids
4. Changing diapers
5. Eating
6. Moving
7. Thinking or talking about complicated subjects
8. Kissing
9. Driving
10. My own saliva in my mouth
11. Getting dressed
12. Being too hot
13. Being too cold
14. Watching TV
15. Basically, everything

Things That Make Me Feel Better
1. Nothing

Consequently, for the past 6 weeks I've been sitting in an armchair at my in-laws house while my MIL (aka the lifesaver) takes care of my kids and feeds us food. I spent the first 3 weeks crying. The past 3 weeks I gave up crying and I've actually gotten dressed for the past two days so I'm hoping better days are coming. Although it fades slowly. The other day at the Pinewood Derby I watched a couple unwrap their DQ hamburgers and dig in. After a while I realized I was staring wistfully and actually starting to tear up at the thought of eating food with such enjoyment. I'm pathetic.

Grant

2008-02-09T20:41:00.000-08:00

If there are any single moms out there who think that men don't know what it's like to have to "do it all" I'd like to tell them, my husband, Grant, does. For about one month out of each of my pregnancies he is Super Man. Yesterday he came home to a house that was about 40 degrees (because his wife couldn't deal with keeping up the fire), a starving 14 month old (because his mother couldn't deal with feeding him all day) and a wife who was curled up in a ball on the sofa, where she'd been for at least the past 3 hours, sobbing. The backdrop to this scenario was a house where practically nothing was residing in cupboards or closets. He had the fire going in no time, the kids organized into picking up the house, ran to the store and whipped up dinner, rented a movie for the kids, changed the baby and put him to bed, then finally did his own chores. All this after having been up since 3:30am that morning to get a report done for work. This is a scene that will be repeated multiple times in the next four weeks and has been repeated ad nauseum in the past. He does it efficiently and cheerfully and I cannot express how grateful I am to him. He has been known to complain and shirk household responsibility in times when I am well, but I can and always will forgive him for those times because of how he is during these times. In a previous journal entry written in a previous pregnancy I wrote, "If I ever feel I have occasion in the future to speak ill of my husband I hope I can remember this time when it is almost entirely him who is keeping this family from falling apart completely." Other people help out also, and I appreciate them, but it is Grant who gets me through emotionally, keeps me from constantly daydreaming about death. I don't want to sound morbid or scare anyone, but it's that bad and if you haven't seen my husband as a Hero before, please see him that way now.

The Prison of Nausea

2008-02-06T17:37:00.000-08:00

is where I currently reside. My warden is a funny looking embryo that doesn't even have a proper head, not to mention limb buds, yet. I'm hoping to be released in about 5 weeks. In the meantime, if I am ornery with you, just clobber me. Knock me out. Render me unconscious. Put me in a 5 week coma. Don't worry, I won't sue. I will thank you.

I am so stupid

2008-02-05T21:27:00.000-08:00

Really. I found this great job on line with a company in Taipei called Tutorabc. You teach English to adults in Taiwan online in the comfort of your own home with the help of a web cam and headphones. We went out and bought a nice web cam and headphones for $120, which is more money than we spent on CHRISTMAS for goodness sakes, so I could interview for the job! And then, here I am sitting at my computer at the designated interview time, make up on and everything, waiting, waiting, waiting. Finally, I recheck my interview confirmation date, yes, yes, Feb. 4th, 10pm. Then I check the calendar and Oh! the 4th was YESTERDAY. For one week now I've had in my head that Tuesday was the 4th of February. So much for my perfect job. I e-mailed and grovelled for a second chance, of course, but I'm not optimistic, so if anyone else out there would like a cushy work from home internet job I'm pretty sure Tutorabc is still looking.

Julie tagged me.

2008-02-04T15:24:00.000-08:00

Here are the rules if you have been tagged.
A. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning.B. Each player answers the questions about themselves.C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 3 people and posts their names.

10 years ago:

That would be Feb. 1998, right? I was in Taiwan, going to Chaiyi Christian Hospital every other day, undergoing various and sundry tests to find out why I could not get pregnant. I think we'd just gone through a failed IUI and I was pretty bummed. Funny how things have changed.

5 Things on my to do list today:
1. Fold the laundry (this won't get done)
2. Have FHE
3. Read to Eliseo and Lily
4. Get through Chap 7 in my Human Anatomy book
5. Force the kids to pick up the huge mess they've made of the house

Snacks I enjoy:

Guavas. Mangoes. Papayas. Lichees. Dragon Eyes. Asian pears. Huo Long Guo. Wax apples. Raspberries. Strawberries.

What would I do if I were a billionaire:
I would buy Grant a farm, then build an environmentally friendly house on it. I would buy 2 vehicles to run on biodiesel fuel. I would spend lots of money on local (or at least fair trade) organic, biodynamic and wild caught food. Then I would counteract all my environmental karma by flying the family all over the world at every chance we got. I'd save the rest.

3 Bad habits I have:
1. picking my nose when I think no one is looking
2. not reading my scriptures every day
3. pretending to listen to my kids instead of REALLY listening to them

5 places I've lived:
1. La Grande, Oregon
2. Provo, Utah
3. Kearns, Utah
4. Chaiyi, Taiwan
5. Bloomfield, New Mexico

5 jobs I've had:
1. Various TA jobs in Chemistry at BYU
2. Lab Tech at Myriad Genetics in SLC
3. ESL teacher in Taiwan
4. Um..I think that was all

Things people don't know about me:
I can't stand fiddle music but I'm trying to endure because Grant loves it. I love to play Moonlight Sonata on the piano. My abdominal muscles are separated. I used to be a MAJOR food baby. My parents almost named me Annette. I've had my nose pierced, twice. I wanted to be a neurosurgeon from third grade through freshman year of college. I always think everyone else's marriage is better than mine.

I'm only tagging 2 people because besides Julie I only know 2 people who have blogs. One being her SIL!
Jenny Peterson
Angie Richey

Lest you misunderstand...

2008-01-31T20:28:00.000-08:00

In case I dismayed anyone with my less than enthusiastic post about being pregnant, I'd like everyone to know that I am not unhappy about having a baby, it's just the pregnancy I am dreading. And it's not about anything vain like getting fat. I always lose the weight, it's not that hard if you are a food nazi like I am. In fact, if someone called me up and said Hey, we have extra babies around here, would you like one? I'd say Sure, give me a girl please. I love babies. It's just being pregnant that I can't stand. The agonizing nausea and unrelenting aches and pains. If someone called me up and said Hey, I'll give you a gazillion dollars to be a surrogate mother. I'd say No way, Jose. The only way I can bear the thought of being pregnant is knowing I will get a baby out of it. I mean look at these faces (they are not all mine by the way), how could you not want one? If only it really was the stork that brought them.

Five reasons I'm happy to be pregnant even though it was unplanned and (initially) a nasty shock.

2008-01-30T09:16:00.000-08:00

1. This is the LAST time.
2. I can say I've gained and lost ~150 lbs in my life. (The final # remains to be seen)
3. It might be a girl.
4. It might be a boy.
5. I LOVE throwing up. Really, it's so fun.

Stay tuned for my next list: 1001 reasons I wish I wasn't such a bone head about birth control. Just kidding. Sort of.

Five Things I Love About Eliseo

2008-01-29T15:43:00.001-08:00

1. That the first thing he does when he comes home from school is take all his clothes off and run around in his underwear.
2. That he is so brave at the dentist.
3. The way he plays equally well with his older brother or younger sister.
4. That he always calls me Mommy, never Mom.
5. That he loves the game "Guess a number between one and a hundred."

Five things I love about Lily

2008-01-25T08:34:00.001-08:00

1. The way she says "pretember" and "myselth."
2. How she thinks I am so great at playing Barbies and My Little Ponies.
3. The yellow ring around her pupils.
4. The way she can sleep in until 10am.
5. The way she thinks her brother, Eliseo, is so cool.

And here are the photos that were supposed to go with Alma's post yesterday.