Rune

constantly startles and amuses me with quirky quips.

I've mentioned this before in a post about how he reduced me to hilarity for days over an Earnest P. Whorl comment while I was lecturing Eliseo.

Also memorable was his monologue on the unbearable unendingness of kissing in the movie Jane Eyre.

And recently...

I'd made dill pickle soup for dinner, a new recipe, and the kids seemed to enjoy it. Rune commented on the way out the door to scouts that he wanted me to leave the soup out so he could eat more when he returned home. While he was gone I decided that there was just enough soup left to scrape a second dinner from and so callously put the soup away rationalizing that he would probably eat some sort of unhealthy junk at scouts (I was right-brownies) and so wouldn't miss the soup. Later, in the before bedtime rush to get a drink of milk, I asked the kids who liked the soup. Rune replied, "I did, I would've had more but you squashed that dream." I realize it can't possibly be as funny in the re-telling, but his dead pan voice without a hint of trying to be dramatic, and throwing out that piece of English language in the middle of pouring his milk as if it was a rational response to my putting soup away when he'd asked me not to....well, it had Grant and I giggling and joking about dream squashing well into the night. Which is about 10pm in our world.

It's quite possible that it is not really that funny and that Grant and I are just hopelessly mired in the mundane landscape of parents who never get out.

My kids

requested to eat the testicles from the jack rabbit that Grant and Alma killed the other day. They were not forced or coerced in any way. The only thing that upset them was that one jack rabbit does not yield more than two testicles.

P.S. It's okay if you're grossed out.

Another example

of the hilarious brilliance in Lily's songwriting.

So far this song is untitled.

She was born like an artist. Raised like a hound.
She always shines bright. Never hides her colors.
Glides like the wind. Floats like a feather.
And always shows her colors of her Land.
She jingles with the bells. Makes the rainbows shine.
And has the colors of the wind.
She can be an artist, she can be a hound.
But she keeps her colors bright.


What I want to know is who is this song based on? Some figment of Lily's imagination? Or is she writing about herself (she does fancy herself an artist after all)? In which case I'd really like an explanation for the raised like a hound part. Not to mention what zoomorphic trait does she imagine a hound gives to this artistic girl who jingles with the bells and makes rainbows shine?

What do you do with neighbors who

refuse to take your homemade Christmas treats delivered to their door in the holiday spirit by your cute and guile-less eight year old daughter?

At least they didn't scream at her but merely sent her packing with a curt, "No thanks, we don't need any."

It's surprising how much it smarts to be disliked so vehemently.

Grant and I are both really un-festive when it comes to putting up Christmas lights on the house. As in, we have never done it and have never wanted to. I really don't know what Grant's reasons are, but for myself it is the frigid weather. I'm already so cold inside the house that I have no idea why anyone in their right mind would purposely go outside the house for hours to do a project when they don't have to. Eliseo, however, is dying to have Christmas lights on the house and has been trying to convince us for days that it is a worthwhile effort. When I picked him up from Scouts tonight he tried a new plug.

Eliseo (pointing to a festive house): See! We need to do our house like that. It's just so....attractive!

I really can't convey it in writing but the way he pronounced the word attractive is still making me laugh. It was a convincing enough argument that I may let him have a go at it himself and see what he comes up with.

Ode to Winter Hatred 2011

When Hell freezes over

It really will be

Hell.

Summer was fun. We went to the cabin in Colorado. We went to Oregon for a month. We visited the coast, something we haven't done in 10 years. I got to see my sister Rachel, which I haven't done in two years. I got to spend a lot of time with my cool sis in law, Elyn, and it was super fun getting to know her better. I took tons of pictures and some video, but we all know how much I can't stand uploading pictures so use your imagination. (You are permitted, while you are using your imagination, to picture me looking exactly the same as I did about 15 years ago.)

My highlights:

We were blessedly away from our psychotic neighbor for most of the summer.
There was help with dinner and clean up every night.
Jogging in the perfect temperature of an Eastern Oregon early morning under the shade of trees.
Garage sale-ing with my mom and sisters.

The kids' highlights:

Not having to practice piano for six weeks.
Having to change clothes only once every three days or so.
The dessert marathon that was Grandma's house.
Cousins, cousins, cousins!

Now we are back in school. Rune at Jr. High, which he loves. I am so happy that he is having such a great time. Eliseo and Lily at homeschool. We are doing K12 this year. We'll see how it goes. Alma and Violet manage to decrease our productivity by about 50% every day which is not exactly fun, but it can be funny.

I've recently developed an intense interest in investing and acquiring assets. I've always been a scientist at heart and never thought I would have any interest in financial matters, but it's been very fun so far. I even bought the book Investing Online for Dummies. Rune was very proud of me. He said, "Hey! You bought one of those Dummies books!" Even if I never become a savvy investor I'm thoroughly enjoying learning something entirely new.

You notice I haven't mentioned Grant. That is because archaeologists disappear into the 'field' during the summer. (You must mentally say the word field in a mysterious voice.) As far as Grant is concerned I think our summerly interaction largely consisted of me nagging him about sunscreen, long sleeved shirts and wide brimmed hats. As much as I hate winter it will be nice to see Grant again (and WITHOUT a sunburn). I can't say how much he will enjoy seeing me, though, after all my nagging!

Lastly, just this Saturday I had the awesome experience of meeting Billy Blanks. Who, for those of you who don't know, is the creator of Tae Bo. Although he was unaware of it, he and I go waaaay back. For about 7 years I stayed in shape through two of his DVD's. The Basic one when pregnant and the Advanced one when not pregnant. Billy Blanks and his blue (Basic video) and red (Advanced video) singlets are permanently etched in my brain. Unfortunately, he no longer wears singlets.