It's true. Here is just a bit of proof.
1. He can't go to sleep without a night light and he must have something playing on the CD player.
2. He wakes up multiple times in the night to a) check on Grant and I to make sure we are still there and not dead and b) to turn the CD player back on.
3. If Grant or I go anywhere he badgers us mercilessly to state the exact amount of time we will be gone. We always refuse to answer such a ridiculous request. Then, after we are gone for about 10 minutes, he begins to badger the other parent. "Don't you think Dad should be back by now?" "Don't you think we should call Mom on the cell phone?"
4. If anyone in the family gets sick he is afraid they have cancer.
5. etc....
This is a trial for me because I am not a worrier. I have no patience for needless and fruitless worrying and it drives me bananas. It is apparently a family trait because his Smith grandparents are also worriers. They have worrying down to a science. Or an art. However you want to look at it. Their worrying also drives me bananas. But they are my in-laws and so they are allowed to be quirky. And plus I usually don't have to live in the same house with them. But Rune...his constant worrying, day in and day out, I don't know how to deal with!
Usually I deal with it badly.
Rune: Mom, when you take Lily to the dentist the roads might be slippery. Are you going to drive slowly? Because there might be black ice on the road and if you drive too fast you could crash. Are you going to take the cell phone? Is the number still xxx-xxxx? etc. etc.
Mom: No, I'm not going to drive slowly or carefully. First, I'm going to tear out of the driveway like a bat out of .... (sudden pause)
Dad: Out of a cave.
Mom: Yeah, like a bat out of a cave. (getting into the story) And I'm going to gun it all the way to the dentist and careen around the corners. (starts giggling) And I'm going to slam on the brakes when I get there and the van will slide to a stop just millimeters from the door.
Dad: And then she's going to rev the engine as loudly as she can. (makes loud revving noises)
Mom and Dad: (laugh hysterically at the image of me aggressively revving the Caravan engine outside the dentist office)
Rune: (the beginnings of a smile, but still looking worried) You're not really, are you?
And then sometimes I deal with it very badly.
Mom: Rune, if you keep worrying about everything all the time then all the unneeded stress will shorten your life span.
Rune: Mom! Don't tell me that! Now I have to worry about dying early if I don't stop worrying!
And trying to be reasonable doesn't help at all. If you have ever tried to reassure a worrier then you know that it is completely useless.
Mom: If something happened to Dad then the police or the hospital will call, so since we haven't heard anything then he's probably okay.
Rune: I know.
Mom: You know that worrying doesn't help anything. It can't prevent anything bad from happening.
Rune: I know.
Mom: You know that if you don't worry you will feel happier.
Rune: I know.
Mom: You know that Dad always drives carefully and, anyway, he has 4 wheel drive.
Rune: I know.
Mom: So there's no reason to worry and no point to it, okay? Let's be happy, okay?
Rune: Okay. But do you think we could call him on the cell phone?
Ah, Rune. My eleven year old worry wart. So full of worry and insecurity. And yet, at the same time, so brave and determined to forge ahead despite his fears.
I'm really proud of him, after all.
7 comments:
Poor Rune! :) He and I should be worry partners. I have since crossed over onto the worry wart side. I can relate.
I am a total stranger and ran across your blog totally by accident. The "worrying" problem caught my eye because I am working on reducing my own worry habit.
Worrying is like impatience, it doesn't change anything. Impatience won't make the line move faster, and worrying won't change the future. It truly is misdirected energy. The first step, as usual, is to become aware that it is a problem itself (as you have already pointed out to your son - it creates unnecessary stress on your body.)
The second step is deciding to make an effort to change this habit of the mind. Finally, you need some plans and strategies to help you achieve your goal.
To get a handle on it myself, on technique I'm trying is to aside specific times to worry. When I catch myself starting to worry something, I say to myself, "I'm not going to worry about that now. I will give myself an hour to worry about it on Tuesday."
Naturally, most of the time Tuesday comes and I have more important things to do than worry. I've made a lot of progress that way.
Anyway, I empathize with your son and hope he can find his own ways to reduce or eliminate a habit that may be make him needlessly anxious.
Gary
Duluth, MN
Poor kid! That's a lot to deal with for someone so young. I had to laugh at your descriptions of how you "help" him thru his anxieties, though. =)
I hate to admit this, but this post made me laugh. :) Especially the reckless driving part. :)
I have never known anyone, or at least not any kid who worries too much. I know plenty of adults that struggle with it, but not any kids.
Here is an idea.....Has he ever seen What about Bob?
I, too, am in the worry wart club. Rune will be thankful for your comic relief. However, I can picture you reving your green caravan in front of the dentist office.
I am totally a worrier too. I remember being a little girl and having all sort of irrational fears and worries. However, the older I get I think I get better at not worrying quite so much.
Wow...well, no one said that parenting would be easy! Is this a new trait that has sprung up more recently, or one that has evolved over time? Have you and Grant sat down with Rune to discuss this at a time when he isn't worrying to map out some kind of plan of action for him when he does? He's going to worry his childhood away, especially because his parents are so easy-going...
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